Bella and the Werewolves
by MamaDulce
Summary: Alice didn't see Bella jump, Edward isn't coming back. Jacob gets his fair chance. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! IF YOU LIKE THE STORY AND WANT TO SEE MORE, I WANNA KNOW! KEEP ME MOTIVATED!
1. Chapter 1: Bella

_CHAPTER ONE: JULIET AND PARIS – BELLA_

_We go back to before Edward came back in New Moon. Except this time around, Edward isn't coming back. We find ourselves in Bella's truck, where Jacob Black has driven her home after her cliff diving incident. This is just before Jacob is supposed to smell Alice, but in this story, Alice isn't there._

**Jake pressed his warm cheek against the top of my hair.

If I turned my face to the side—if I pressed my lips against his bare shoulder...I knew without any doubt exactly what would follow. It would be very easy. There would be no need for explanations tonight.

But could I do it? Could I betray my absent heart to save my pathetic life?

Butterflies assaulted my stomach as I thought about turning my head.

And then, as clearly as if I were in immediate danger, Edward's velvet voice whispered in my ear.

"Be happy," he told me.** [Excerpt from pg. 376, New Moon by Stephenie Meyer]

And suddenly, something else Edward had said came back to me, before he left, when we were watching _Romeo and Juliet._

"Could he have destroyed his own happiness any more thoroughly?"

A realization crashed through me as Edward's voice echoed in my head. I understood at once, and I couldn't figure out why I hadn't seen this before.

Juliet didn't have to die. When she woke up to find that her Romeo was forever gone, she didn't have to let herself go as well. She still had Paris. While it might take her a while—a _long_ while—to get over him, why should she waste her happiness, her life?

In that instant, I decided.

I turned my head, letting my lips gently brush Jake's shoulder. I heard his breathing quicken, and he slowly removed his cheek from my hair, sliding it down so that we were cheek-to-cheek for a moment. My breathing became shallow as well.

His lips touched mine, unsure, tentatively at first. When I didn't resist, it intensified.

At that moment, when our lips were connected, something went through me, like a shock, a tingle. I kissed him back.

It was over as suddenly as it had begun, and strangely, I didn't want it to be. I found myself sad and disappointed that it couldn't have lasted longer.

Jacob misread my expression. "I'm sorry," he muttered, sounding sad himself.

I shook my head, raising my eyes to his. I leaned closer to him until our lips touched, and then we were kissing again, intensely, almost desperately, as if I'd starved Jacob of this for a long time. Now that I thought about it, I probably had.

We kissed for a few minutes more, his hands tangled in my hair, mine on his warm chest and back. When we were done, we sat there in our embrace, both breathing hard. Jacob was the first to move. He leaned back so that he could look into my eyes.

"I've always loved you," he murmured, stroking my hair.

"I know," I said. "And I think that in some way, I've always loved you too." I saw him smile as he leaned back toward me.

"Bella," he whispered huskily, and he met my mouth again, his lips warm, soft, inviting, so unlike the cold marble I'd been used to. I enjoyed not having to be careful, not having to restrain myself for fear of my life. I could get used to this.

Finally, when our kiss was over, I leaned back and smiled at Jake. "I think I should go inside now," I whispered. _Before we get carried away_, I added mentally. He nodded, seeming to hear my thoughts. He opened his door to get out and turned back to me.

"Bella?" he said.

I looked at him, into his beautiful eyes. "Yes?" My heart was still pounding from our kisses.

"I love you."

I hesitated, but only for a split second. It was a new dawn, a new story. Juliet and Paris.

"I love you, too," I said, and I knew at once that I meant it. Jacob could also tell I meant it, and he leaned back in for a quick peck. He smiled my smile, and took off running toward the forest.

I smiled to myself. I deserved to be happy, didn't I? It made it even better to know that I was making Jake happy, too. The hole in my chest wasn't as big as it once was.

I made it about halfway to the house when Jacob came charging back at me, alarm etched into his face.

I was suddenly frightened. "Jake? What is it? What's wrong?" He grabbed me and crushed me to his chest.

"She's gotten through, she's crossed the boundary!" he shouted, now dragging me toward the forest. "The others will be here in a few seconds. C'mon! You'll have to ride on my back!"

A shrill of pure terror spiked up my spine. Victoria. She'd gotten through, which would mean that she could be here at any second. I was suddenly paralyzed in fear. Jacob, rather than snapping me out of it, picked me up and flung me over his back. Before I'd even landed on him, he'd phased. I curled my fingers around large chunks of his fur and held on for dear life.


	2. Chapter 1: Jacob

_CHAPTER ONE: JULIET AND PARIS – JACOB_

I sighed, laying my cheek down on Bella's head. I knew she'd eventually pull away, stiffen, or whatever other reaction she could come up with to hurt me. But she'd never know how much she hurt me.

Bella didn't move, and I wondered why. Normally she would have pushed me away by now. God, how I wanted to kiss her. I wished she could just get over the bloodsucker. How could she love something that was hurting her so badly? I wanted to kill him. It killed _me_ just to see in her eyes how much pain she was in.

I felt Bella tense up for a split second, and I thought about pulling away. But much to my surprise, she turned her head and brushed her lips across my bare shoulder. Was this an invite? My breathing quickened as I thought about what I should do. Well, only one way to find out.

I slowly moved my cheek down Bella's face. I let it rest on hers, testing the waters. She didn't move, so I continued until my lips met hers. I was gentle, and my kiss was more questioning than passionate. Bella didn't resist, so I let go of my composed control and crushed my mouth into hers.

Suddenly, nothing else mattered. I felt like I was flying high above the clouds, and the only thing holding me to the earth was Bella. I was confused; I'd heard of imprinting, and so far, it had happened with three of the guys, including Sam with Emily. The legends said that we had to actually _see_ the person. I'd seen Bella a bunch since I'd changed. But I'd loved Bella all along. Maybe it was different with me. Maybe she had to love me back before I could imprint. I'd seen what it felt like through Sam and the other guys' minds, and this was the same, if not more.

I became very self-conscious for a moment, and ended the kiss. I looked at Bella, surprised to see her with an upset look on her face. She regretted kissing me. I just knew it. Every time something good came along, it got snatched back up.

"I'm sorry," I muttered, full of angst and sadness.

Bella surprised me once again by shaking her head and looking me dead in the eye. Could she tell I'd just imprinted? Of course, she didn't even know what imprinting was yet. As I was thinking of how to tell her, she leaned right in and touched her lips to mine.

I groaned inwardly. God, did she know what she was doing to me? Did she have any idea how long I'd waited for this? I tangled my hands in her beautiful thick hair, and she ran her hands all over my chest and back—did she know how good that felt? I knew my kisses seemed frantic, desperate, but I wanted her to know how I felt, and I didn't want to have any regrets if she ended up rethinking her actions. It would kill me, I mean _literally, _if she didn't want me. I was so held down by her, I'd do absolutely anything she asked of me. But if she asked me to leave, to stay away. . . I just wouldn't survive.

After the kiss ended, we sat there, holding each other. Finally, I leaned back to look at her. I had to tell her how I felt. I couldn't bear it if she walked away, not knowing.

I stroked her lovely hair, and murmured, "I've always loved you." I waited, afraid of her reaction.

"I know," she responded, smiling. Oh, thank God, she was smiling. "And I think that in some way, I've always loved you too."

A wave of emotion washed over me as I smiled and leaned back in for another kiss. I whispered he name just before my mouth closed over hers. I just couldn't resist those soft, full lips. I could feel her energy, her unrestrained intensity. I'm sure she must have had to be careful with the vampire. If she'd done this with _him_ she'd probably be dead. It angered me to think of the bloodsucker's mouth anywhere near her, so I concentrated on kissing Bella.

Unfortunately, it had to end. Bella pulled back to look at me, with a dazed, half-smile on her face.

"I think I should go inside now," she whispered, her eyes full of meaning. Did she feel the way I had? Wild fantasies were already running through my mind. I understood and nodded. I opened the door, getting ready to leave. But I had to say one more thing.

"Bella?" I asked.

She looked at me, a faint blush on her skin I'm sure she didn't notice. "Yes?"

"I love you."

I saw a flicker of hesitation, and my heart jumped. But it was only a fraction of a second.

"I love you, too." My heart picked up speed. I could tell she meant it, and I could see that she was aware of this fact as well. I couldn't resist leaning back in for one more quick kiss goodbye.

I grinned and took off toward the forest. A few feet in, I yanked my pants off and phased, searching for Sam's mind. I found it after a second.

_'Sam, I did it, I imprinted! Bella—'_

_'Jake? Get Bella, the female crossed the boundary. I don't understand how she got through. We'll be there in a few seconds.'_

_'What am I supposed to do with her? I can't be any help if I'm not in werewolf form!'_

_'Let her ride on your back, anything! Just do something!'_

I phased back and frantically put my shorts back on. I ran full speed back to Bella's and caught her midway up the walk. When she saw the look on my face, her own filled with fear.

"Jake? What is it? What's wrong?" I finally reached her and clutched her to me.

"She's gotten through, she's crossed the boundary!" I started dragging her toward the forest. "The others will be here in a few seconds. C'mon! You'll have to ride on my back!" I felt her stiffen in terror, paralyzed. Not wasting any time, I picked her up and threw her over my back. I was phased before she had a chance to solidly land on me. I felt her hands clutch fistfuls of my fur, and I was satisfied that she was holding on. I took off, the forest around me a blur as I raced to save Bella's life.


	3. Chapter 2: Bella

_CHAPTER TWO: VICTORY OR VICTORIA? - BELLA_

We were flying through the forest at an incredible speed, just as fast as when I'd been with Edward. My eyes were squeezed shut to prevent any stomach upsets. I was thinking about anything I could to keep the prospect of Victoria hunting me down and murdering me out of my head.

_Edward._ It didn't hurt as much to think of him. I suppose it was because I'd finally given myself over to Jacob. And that first kiss. . . something had happened to both of us, I was positive. Jacob had looked at me differently after it.

With a sudden jolt, I realized that Jacob had looked at me the same way Sam looked at Emily. Could I really be lucky enough to have something that real? After all the bad luck I'd had, after the way I'd used Jacob to plug up the hole Edward had left in me? I didn't understand. I knew I wouldn't survive another broken heart. But Jacob seemed wholly devoted to me. I had never _not_ trusted him. Why should it be any different now, just because we had stepped over the 'just friends' line into something much deeper?

I had a feeling that Jacob and I would always be together. It wasn't just some stupid crush in high school where I fantasize about marriage or whatever, this was serious. It was difficult to explain the exhilarating rush of kissing Jacob, and the way he looked at me. I just _knew_. Even if Edward magically appeared and told me he loved me. . . I don't think I could go back to that. Not after those soft lips had kissed mine and those warm arms embraced me. The way neither of us had to restrain ourselves.

It was perfect. I was always freezing, he was always warm. He understood me better even than Edward, who had observed me for hours on end. It felt like all connections had been cut from Edward, and new, diamond-strong ones had formed with Jacob. I knew without a doubt that I was in love with him. In fact, _love_ didn't quite seem to cover it. It was so much more than that.

Sure, I still loved Edward, there was no kidding myself on that. I would always love him, just not as much as I loved Jacob. It seemed crazy to me; just a little while ago I'd been almost dead in my mourning for Edward's absence. Now the memory of Edward was like waking up from a dream. I could remember it, but it was beginning to fade in the dawn of a new day.

I went over all this in my head as I clung to Jacob. I had no idea what he was thinking, and I was afraid to know. I was afraid that the love—and a bit of lust as well—in his eyes was just my imagination. I could only hope that he felt the same way.

My thoughts were interrupted when Jacob stopped running, and with that, all my fears about Victoria came flooding back. I began shaking.

Suddenly I was in Jacob's arms. He had phased back without me noticing. I looked around me. We were in a small clearing with several fallen trees. Jacob sat down on one of these with me still in his arms. He wouldn't put me down.

"We have your house surrounded, Bella. Don't be frightened, I won't let her get you," Jacob said in an unexpectedly husky voice as he gazed into my eyes. My heart jumped and I flushed.

Clearing my throat, I asked, "Where's Charlie?"

"He's still with Sue Clearwater. He won't be home for a couple hours. We hope to have her by then. We're in the safest spot. The boundary is about ten feet away, and she's already passed it, heading to your house." My throat tightened.

"Jake!" I gasped. Worry etched itself in Jacob's forehead.

"What? What is it?" he demanded.

"I don't want any of you to get hurt because of me!"

Jacob snorted and laughed. "There's nothing to worry about there. There are more of us than there are of her. She'll either fight or run. If she keeps running, she'll eventually fight, and if she fights, she'll lose."

I was still unconvinced. It must've shown, because Jacob's next action made me forget any impending danger.

"Look, Bella, we don't really have time for this, but—" He smashed his lips to mine fiercely for a few worry-free seconds, and I was aware that I'd stopped breathing. He pulled away, his breathing rattly. "I love you. I love you so much, you have no idea."

My eyes teared up at the intensity of love rolling off him in waves. He kissed me again, pulling me close. My heart thudded so hard I was sure it would stop. I could see myself spending my life with him so easily. How had I never seen him this way before?

Our kiss ended abruptly when we both heard a chuckle behind us. Jacob jumped up with me in his arms. He spun around trying to find the source of the noise. His nose wrinkled in disgust. She was near, I could tell. I could feel panic welling up.

Jacob gently put me down. "I'm going to phase, okay?"

I nodded, unable to speak. In an instant, Jacob in his werewolf form appeared where he'd been standing a moment ago. He really was quite breathtaking in this form. His reddish-brown fur covered his entire body, strong and shiny. His deep brown eyes penetrated the surrounding forest. A low growl emanated from his chest as a lone figure stepped into the clearing.

My heart jumped to my throat as the figure's fire-red hair wafted in the breeze. She was smiling an evil, red-eyed smile.

"So. I guess I was wrong about you being Edward's mate," said Victoria. I swallowed heavily.

"Then why don't you leave me be?" I asked, trying to sound intimidating, but instead sounding frightened and weak.

Victoria chuckled again. "Well now, that would be a waste of a good meal! I—" Her words were cut off as Jacob lunged at her. She threw her arms up, seemingly protecting her face, but then she grabbed Jacob around the neck and flipped him onto the ground. The small clearing seemed to shake under the force. I held back a scream.

I didn't know what to do. I wasn't strong enough to fight; one bite was all it took. But I couldn't stand there and watch her kill Jacob, either. I didn't have much time to think about it, because Jacob was on his feet and had slashed open the side of Victoria's face. She snarled, coming at Jacob with such speed, I was surprised I could actually see it.

She grabbed his front paw and yanked. There was a sickening crack as she snapped the bones. My hands flew over my mouth as I forced back another shriek. Jacob snapped at her, catching her hand in his mouth. Her eyes widened in fear. Jacob jerked his head and the hand came off cleanly.

I had to turn my head. There was no blood, but it still made me nauseous. I heard another sickening snap, and the last thing I remembered before sinking into unconsciousness was a howling.


	4. Chapter 2: Jacob

_CHAPTER TWO: VICTORY OR VICTORIA? – JACOB_

It was exhilarating to rush through the forest at such high speeds. The wind whipping against my face, the ground that hardly seemed to be there. . . and now the warm weight of my whole life on my back.

I could already see us being together in the future. We'd get married, have kids. . . I shuddered in pleasure at the thought of making babies with Bella. But that was for another day. I searched until I found the others' minds. They were in position at specific points around the house.

_'Sam, where do you want me?'_

_'You have the girl?'_

_'Yes.'_

_'Take her to the clearing just before the boundary line. If the female already crossed over, you shouldn't meet her. We've got the house surrounded. Don't worry, Jake. We'll get her.'_

_'Okay. Thanks, Sam.'_

_'Oh, by the way, what was that about imprinting? Who did you see in the ten minutes it took you to take Bella home?'_

_'Nobody else.'_

_'Then who—'_

_'It was her. Bella. All I did was kiss her, and it hit me like a freight train.'_

Sam pondered this while I ran. I reached the small clearing with big logs everywhere. I stopped, thinking about what to do next, when I felt a shaking sensation. I realized that it was Bella, and I quickly phased back to my human form and held Bella in my arms. I sat down on the closest log. I looked down into her deep, intelligent eyes and gulped. If only she knew what she did to me!

"We have your house surrounded, Bella. Don't be frightened, I won't let her get you," I choked out, trying to keep the hormones out of my voice. It didn't work, though, because Bella promptly flushed red.

She cleared her throat and asked, "Where's Charlie?"

"He's still with Sue Clearwater. He won't be home for a couple hours. We hope to have her by then. We're in the safest spot. The boundary is about ten feet away, and she's already passed it, heading to your house."

"Jake!" Bella gasped. Oh God! Did I hurt her? What happened?

"What? What is it?" I demanded.

"I don't want any of you to get hurt because of me!"

This was funny to me. As if _I'd_ let anything happen to _her_. I laughed. "There's nothing to worry about there. There are more of us than there are of her. She'll either fight or run. If she keeps running, she'll eventually fight, and if she fights, she'll lose."

I could tell she wasn't convinced. Looking into her eyes, I knew I just had to kiss her again. Who knew when or even _if_ I'd get another chance?

I mustered up my courage. "Look, Bella, we don't really have time for this, but—" I crushed my lips onto hers. She tasted so good—not in a bloodsucking sense, of course. "I love you. I love you so much, you have no idea."

She really didn't have any idea. Her eyes teared up, and I just couldn't help myself. I pressed my mouth to hers again, savoring each second. I was so engrossed in her that I didn't notice the scent until it was much too late.

A laugh came from behind us. I stood abruptly with Bella still nestled in my arms, and I swiveled around, trying to find the bloodsucker. My nose wrinkled as I caught her disgusting scent. I set Bella down gently.

"I'm going to phase, okay?" I asked, gazing at her. She nodded. She didn't look able to speak at that point.

I was a werewolf in the blink of an eye, and as I glared into the forest toward the offending odor, I called out to the pack.

_'Guys, she's here. She found us. Hurry_._'_

There was a flurry of panicked thoughts as the pack started racing toward us. They'd be here in a minute or so.

I growled and my fur bristled up as the female stepped into the clearing, an evil smile plastered across her face. Her eyes were demon-red, her hair like fire in the wind.

"So. I guess I was wrong about you being Edward's mate," the bloodsucker said. I shuddered as images of Bella and Edward as _mates_ interrupted my train of thought. I shook it off.

"Then why don't you leave me be?" Bella asked, catching me off guard. She sounded scared to death.

The female laughed at her. "Well now, that would be a waste of a good meal! I—" I didn't give her a chance to finish. Her words enraged me so much that I lunged across the clearing without a second thought.

Victoria put her arms up, as if she were trying to defend herself. I was prepared to take a chunk out of her face, so it was a shock when I found myself being slammed to the ground. I jumped to my feet and swung my paw at the same time. Huge slash marks appeared on the side of her face.

Victoria snarled and grabbed my paw before it had swung all the way through and yanked. I heard the snap before I felt anything, but in reality, I was so pumped full of adrenaline that I really didn't feel much. It would be healed before I came down off my high.

I snapped my jaw out toward the hand that had just broken my wrist and bit down. She looked at me, scared of my next move. _Take this,_ I thought as I pulled her hand clear off. The pack was close; I could hear them howling. I reached out for her neck as she reached out for mine at the same time. Another crack filled the clearing.


	5. Chapter 3: Bella

_CHAPTER THREE: CONTROL – BELLA_

There were voices above me. I couldn't make out what they were saying, but I had a disorienting moment of panic before I realized that the voices were that of the pack, not of Victoria and whatever demons she may have conjured up. I stirred slightly, my hand coming up to my forehead.

Warm hands were closed around my wrists the instant I'd moved.

"Bella?" It was Jacob. I mumbled something incoherent. I heard Jake ask someone, Sam, probably, if I should be taken to the hospital. Before Sam could answer, though, I opened my eyes.

Jake was leaning over me, so close that I could feel his hot breath on my mouth. His dark brown eyes were filled with worry and concern. I vaguely noted that we were still in the clearing. Not thinking about the others around us, I pulled one of my hands free of his grip and placed it on his cheek. His mouth was on mine in an instant, replacing my prior panic with warmth and butterflies. His free hand was in my hair as I pulled him closer to me.

I heard someone clear their throat in an embarrassing manner and my eyes popped open. Jacob looked up, grinning. He stood, pulling me to my feet. I was glad he didn't apologize for kissing me in public. His hand stayed wrapped around mine.

"What. . . what happened to Victoria?" I looked around, but there was no trace of her. Jacob looked at me triumphantly.

"I killed her. I snapped her neck, then before she had a chance to heal up, I lopped it off," he told me with pride in his voice. As I pictured Victoria's head coming off, I suddenly got very dizzy. The ground seemed to come up to meet me, but I was cradled in Jacob's arms before I hit the ground. I looked up at him weakly.

"Sorry, I don't tolerate violent acts too well." I smiled meekly at him. We seemed to get lost in each others' eyes for a moment, but the spell was broken when Jacob looked up at the others. He looked back to me.

"Let's go back to my place. I know you were just there, but. . . well, I don't want you out of my sight. The others are going to stay behind to burn her body," Jake said. I nodded. I didn't care where I went at that point, I just didn't want him to leave me.

Jacob phased and I rode on his back all the way back to my house. We got in my truck and drove to La Push, pulling up in front of Jacob's house. He came around and opened my door for me, picking me up to carry me again. I could tell he was afraid of letting me walk on my own, even though I probably could have managed.

Billy was asleep on the couch when we got inside, so Jacob carried me quietly to his tiny bedroom and laid me on his bed. I curled up into a ball as Jacob sat down on the edge of the bed, clearly afraid of crossing any lines by lying down next to me. Without his arms around me, I was suddenly freezing.

Noticing my discomfort, Jacob pulled a rumpled comforter from under his bed and covered me up with it. He sat down again, looking at his hands. He looked as if he were contemplating something.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked. He looked up at me in alarm, then sighed.

"I've just been trying to figure out how to tell you something without you getting freaked out or angry," he said. It couldn't be _that _bad, I decided. After all, he'd already told me he loved me. What more could there be that was so difficult to tell me?

"Just go ahead and tell me," I prompted, curious. Jacob sighed again before beginning.

"Werewolves have this thing. It's called imprinting. It's when we see a girl, and _bam,_ it just hits us. Suddenly, nothing else matters but _her_, and all we live for is _her._ It happened to Sam first. He and Leah Clearwater dated for_ever_, but when he saw her cousin, Emily for the first time, Leah ceased to exist in his heart. He only had room for one person. He felt _terrible._" I thought about what Jacob said. It was interesting, _imprinting_. I wondered what Jacob was trying to tell me, and suddenly the blood drained from my face. He was trying to tell me that this had all been a mistake, that he'd imprinted with someone else.

"Jacob, have _you _imprinted yet?" I asked in a shaky voice. Jacob looked down at his hands again.

"Yes," he whispered. I could feel my heart breaking already. This was why he'd been afraid to tell me. I wasn't mad, or even freaked out, but my heart hurt, and I could feel the old hole get a little bigger.

"With who?" I said in a pained voice. Jacob snapped his head up when he heard the tone in my voice. He surprised me by crawling over to where I lay curled up in the center of his bed. He put the palm of his hand against my cheek and looked deep into my eyes.

"You," he murmured, leaning down to kiss me. My heart surged. The hole that had gotten bigger just a moment before had all but disappeared completely. I reached up and put my hands around Jacob's neck, pulling him down. He lay half on top of me, with the thick comforter in between our bodies.

Before I realized what he was doing, Jacob was under the covers with me, rolling over with me so that now _I _was half on top of_ him_. My heart was racing, by breathing was quick, and my hormones were soaring, and I knew I needed to stop this before we went further than we should have, but part of me really didn't want to. I'd wanted this with Edward when we were together, but he wouldn't allow it. With Jacob, there wasn't any danger of death during an intimate moment.

Jacob's hands slid under my shirt, up my bare back. They were so warm. I shuddered with pleasure and kissed him harder. He pulled me completely on top of him so that my legs straddled his torso. The time, unfortunately, had come for me to stop this. I didn't want to, God how I wanted to continue. But I knew I wanted to wait.

"Jake?" I said, breathless. He looked at me with a wild look in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"We need to stop," I gasped. Breathing hard, he nodded reluctantly. We rolled to the side and lay there, face-to-face, catching our breath.

"I should call Charlie," I said at last.

"Stay here. Please, I'll behave myself. Billy won't mind," Jacob begged, and I found myself nodding.

"Okay, I'll ask." I started to get up, but Jacob pushed me back down.

"I'll get it. Knowing you, you'll probably knock something over and wake up Billy," he said in a teasing voice. I smiled.

He was back before I knew he'd gone. He handed me the phone and I dialed my house. Charlie answered on the second ring.

"Bella?" he asked. I cringed. I probably should have left him a note.

"Hey, Dad. I'm at Jake's. Listen, it's been a long day. Do you mind if I stay here tonight? Billy doesn't mind," I added quickly. Charlie didn't hesitate.

"Yeah, sure. But. . . Harry's funeral is tomorrow." He sounded pained. "If you don't want to go, that's fine, but I'm sure the Black's will be going. Just stay out of trouble, okay? Don't end up in the hospital again." I smiled.

"Yeah, no problem. Oh, and hey, Dad? I'm really sorry about Harry. I know he was your best friend." There was silence for a moment on the other line.

"Thanks, Bella. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Dad." I hung up and smiled at Jacob, who gently took the phone and put it on the floor next to the bed. His arms were around me before I could protest, and we were back under the covers, face-to-face, body-to-body.

"You have no idea what this is doing to me, having you in my bed," Jacob whispered. Oh, I had an idea. Probably the same thing it was doing to me.

We kissed for a little while longer, controlling ourselves, before I fell asleep in his arms, so warm compared to Edward's cold hard marble ones.


	6. Chapter 3: Jacob

_CHAPTER THREE: CONTROL - JACOB_

I snapped the bloodsucker's neck before her hands found their target. I knew I only had a few precious seconds to finish the job before she healed. I lunged my teeth forward, closing them around the marble skin of her neck.

I jerked my head back, ripping out the front half of the neck. She glared at me with her demon-bright eyes as she attempted to grab me again. But I had the advantage. I swiped my sharp claws at the remainder of her neck, and her head hit the ground with a resounding thunk. I whirled around before the rest of her body followed suit.

I saw Bella lying crumpled on the ground and panic seized through me. I phased just as the rest of the pack stepped through the trees into the clearing. I grabbed my shorts from Sam; he'd picked them up just outside the tree line.

I rushed over to Bella and breathed a sigh of relief. She was breathing. She appeared to have passed out.

"What happened to her?" Sam asked in a concerned voice.

"She's fine. I think she just fainted," I answered. Paul and Embry were leaning over the female's body, gaping in awe at my handiwork.

Turning to them, I said, "Hey guys, can you get that body out of here in case she comes to? I don't need her throwing up or passing out again." The guys nodded. Paul grabbed the head and drop-kicked it, while Embry grabbed the female's legs and swung around in circles, flinging it off into the forest. Both guys looked back at me and grinned.

"Yeah, real cute," I said, but I couldn't help grinning back. I turned back to Bella in time to see her lift her hand to her face. In an instant, I was crouched over her with my fingers wrapped around her wrists.

"Bells?" I asked. My heart pounded as I waited for a response. My heart sped up dramatically when she could only mumble a response. I knew I was being a little overprotective, I knew she was fine. I just couldn't help being worried about her.

I turned to Sam. "Should we take her to a hospital?" Before he could answer, Bella's dark brown eyes opened and gazed into mine. She pulled one of her hands free and placed it ever so gently on my cheek. All knowledge of the surrounding audience went out the window. I was kissing her before I knew what I was doing.

The sound of Jared clearing his throat pulled me out of the world where only Bella and I existed. I'd have to talk to him later about his timing. I looked up at everyone and smiled, no apology in mind. I pulled Bella to her feet as I stood, my hand never straying from hers.

"What. . . what happened to Victoria?" Bella asked, looking around her. I looked at her with pride.

"I killed her. I snapped her neck, then before she had a chance to heal up, I lopped it off." _Oops_, I thought. _Maybe I shouldn't have gone into the gory details. She's turning green._ In compliment to my thoughts, Bella started to tumble forward. I grabbed her and swept her into my arms before she could hit. Then she looked up at me with such innocence in her eyes that I almost kissed her again, right then and there.

"Sorry," she whispered. "I don't take violent acts too well." She smiled weakly. We gazed deeply into each others' eyes. Then I remembered our audience, and I reluctantly pulled my eyes from hers.

"Let's go back to my place. I know you were just there, but. . ." I struggled to the words; I didn't want to come across as obsessed. "Well, I don't want you out of my sight. The others are going to stay behind to burn her body." I winced, wondering if I'd given Bella too much information again, but all she did was nod. She never ceased to surprise me.

With Bella on my back once again, we got back to her house in record time. I put her down in the passenger seat—no _way_ was I letting her drive—and hopped in on the other side. Fifteen minutes later, we pulled up in front of my house. I rushed over to Bella's side, opened her door, and picked her up in my arms before she could protest. I knew she hated looking weak, but i didn't really care. Kicking her door shut, I carried her into my house.

Dad was asleep on the couch. There wasn't really any need to wake him; he'd find out everything in the morning. I bypassed the couch and headed straight to my room. After I'd nudged the door open, I laid Bella down gently in the center of my too-small—for me, at least—bed.

I wanted so badly to lie down beside her, but I thought better of it. I didn't want to push my luck when I'd been so lucky already. I could tell that Bella was freezing, so I grabbed a wrinkled bed spread from under my bed. I'd shoved it there a while back, when my temperature reached a point where I no longer required it to keep me warm.

_God, I hope it doesn't smell_, I thought as I covered Bella. She snuggled into it. I groaned inwardly. How I wished it were _me_ she was snuggling into. But I didn't have time to think too deeply on the subject. There was something else I needed to do first, I just had to figure out how to tell her without scaring her away. I examined my hands, willing them to give me the answer.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Bella's question surprised me. I hadn't realized I looked as uneasy as I felt. I looked up at into her questioning eyes. An array of less embarrassing excuses passed through my mind, but in the end, I decided the truth was best. I wasn't sure I could handle lying to her.

"I've just been trying to figure out how to tell you something without you getting freaked out or angry," I said. Confusion flitted across her face.

"Just go ahead and tell me," Bella pressed curiously. I sighed heavily before continuing.

"Werewolves have this thing. It's called imprinting. It's when we see a girl, and _bam,_ it just hits us. Suddenly, nothing else matters but _her_, and all we live for is _her._ It happened to Sam first. He and Leah Clearwater dated for_ever_, but when he saw her cousin, Emily for the first time, Leah ceased to exist in his heart. He only had room for one person. He felt _terrible._"

I watched as Bella considered my words. It felt like years before she responded.

"Jacob, have _you_ imprinted yet?" That was it. The magic question. I hung my head, once again asking my despondent hands for help.

"Yes," I whispered. I awaited the death blow in silence. How long would it take for her to run screaming from the room? How long before Charlie showed up, gun in hand, ready to shoot me? Before I could come up with anymore scenarios, Bella spoke again.

"With who?" My head snapped up. Was it possible? There was such. . . _pain_ in her voice. . . could she really be hurt that I might've imprinted with someone else? I let go of my earlier fears of pushing my luck and I crawled over to where Bella lay. _My Bella_.

"You," I murmured. I kissed her with all the pent-up passion I had for her. The stupid bedspread was a problem. I allowed too much space between Bella and I. Without breaking the kiss, I deftly crawled beneath the covers.

I rolled over onto my back, pulling Bella halfway onto my chest. I could feel her heart speed up and her breath quicken, and I knew that my own heart and lungs mirrored hers.

I pushed my hands up the back of Bella's shirt, distracted by how smooth and perfect her skin was. Before I knew what I was doing, I pulled Bella completely on top of me, so that her knees were on either side of my ribs. She was sitting on my abdomen, and I would not allow her to go any lower than that; I knew my hormones were through the roof.

I was out of control. I didn't _want_ to go any further, but I didn't think I'd be able to stop myself. My saving grace would have to fall on Bella. I hoped she had more sense than I did at that point.

"Jake?" Oh God. Did she have any idea what she was doing to me when she said my name like that? I looked at her with what I was sure was an animal look in my eyes.

"What's wrong?" I asked, unnecessarily. We both knew what was wrong.

"We need to stop." _Dammit_. But I knew she was right, and I respected her. So I reluctantly—and yet firmly—forced myself to nod. I rolled us back onto our sides, where we lay catching our breath.

Finally, Bella said, "I need to call Charlie." Good idea. If Bella's father had gotten even an inkling of what had just happened. . . Werewolves healed quickly, but none of us could survive a father on a mission. Still. . . I couldn't just let Bella go home. Not after what happened.

"Stay here. Please, I'll behave myself. Billy won't mind," I said, practically begging. My heart swelled when Bella nodded.

"Okay, I'll ask," she said, moving to get up. I pushed her back down. The house was chilly at night, and Bella was so unbelievably clumsy that she's probably end up killing herself in the darkness.

"I'll get it. Knowing you, you'll probably knock something over and wake up Billy," I said jokingly. She smiled, letting me know she'd gotten the joke. I rushed out, grabbed the wireless, and rushed back before Bella had taken a complete breath.

I watched her dial the familiar digits and listened as Charlie picked up the phone.

_'Bella?'_ She winced. _Whoops,_ I thought. _We probably should have left Charlie some sign as to where his daughter was._ Bella subconsciously chewed her lip.

"Hey, Dad. I'm at Jake's. Listen, it's been a long day. Do you mind if I stay here tonight?" She paused, then quickly added, "Billy doesn't mind."

_'Yeah, sure. But. . . Harry's funeral is tomorrow. If you don't want to go, that's fine, but I'm sure the Black's will be going. Just stay out of trouble, okay? Don't end up in the hospital again.'_ I smiled, recalling all the times I'd driven Bella to the ER.

"Yeah, no problem. Oh, and hey, Dad? I'm really sorry about Harry. I know he was your best friend." Charlie was silent for a few moments.

_'Thanks, Bella. Goodnight.'_

"Goodnight, Dad." She hung up. I gently took the phone from her and put on the floor as she settled back in the bed. In _my _bed.

A realization crashed through me. Bella Swan, the most beautiful, most perfect creature on the planet, was in my bed. In. My. Bed. And not just in my bed, but in my bed with _me_. Jacob Black. The luckiest dog in the world. Oh my God. Oh my _God_.

"You have no idea what this is doing to me, having you in my bed." _Did I just say that out loud? Jesus. Stupid, Jake. You're just stupid._

I kissed the exquisite specimen that was my Bella for about ten minutes more.

"Night, Bells," I whispered, but she had already fallen asleep in my arms. I could _definitely_ get used to this.


	7. Chapter 4: Bella

_CHAPTER FOUR: DREAMS AND MARSHMALLOWS – BELLA_

I was in a familiar place. It was bright, and moss-covered trees surrounded me as I walked in a meaningless direction. I had the impression that I was supposed to be searching for something. The old feeling of not remembering what I was looking for started creeping up on me, and I knew it was only a matter of time before I woke up screaming.

But the feeling stayed distant. I couldn't understand why until an enormous russet-colored wolf came into my view, only ten yards away. The wolf was beautiful; I knew it was Jacob, just by looking into his eyes. He jerked his head, indicating I should follow. I clumsily—God, I even fell over in my dreams!—followed Jake the Wolf as he turned and headed deeper into the green forest.

We walked—well, Jake gracefully padded soundlessly along, while I stumbled over every microscopic dirt particle—for what seemed like hours and hours. Then, finally, we stepped into a place I'd only been twice in my life. The first time had been with Edward, of course, and the second time was when Laurent had almost killed me. It was the day I'd gotten my first glimpse of Jake in werewolf form; I could understand why the meadow was significant to him as well.

When I broke through the dense trees into the clearing, Jacob was nowhere to be found. A terrible sense of familiarity washed over me, as I found myself, once again, alone and disappointed. Any moment now, Laurent would step through the trees opposite me.

I stifled a scream as a tall figure emerged. I relaxed, seeing that it was just Jacob, phased back into a human. He came toward me and crushed me to his chest when he'd finally reached me. He pulled me down to lay in the grass next to him.

Jacob's beautiful russet skin did not glisten like a million diamonds in the sunlight. His deep brown eyes were not a brilliant shade of topaz—nor were they crimson or ebony. His soft, yet muscular features were not impossibly flawless or perfect by any means. And yet the meadow was so much more magical than it had been with Edward.

The long grass swayed in the breeze as a complex orchestration of birds, bees, and cicadas saturated the air contained within the clearing. Jacob was at my side, peaceful and unafraid of his nature when he was with me. He turned to look at me, to gaze into my eyes. His eyes held so much warmth and love for me, I felt my eyes tear up.

Jacob reached over to wipe away the few drops that had escaped my eyes and fallen onto my cheeks. Though it was a sunny day, his warm fingers made me shiver. Jacob hugged me to him.

I laid my head on his warm chest and traced random patterns on his bicep. I felt him shift, and I looked up at him. He put his hand on my cheek, then into my hair. He pulled me closer, ready to kiss me. The world around me darkened until it was gone altogether.

I kept my eyes closed for a little while. I wanted to bask in the aftermath of my dream. Jacob's arms were around me in reality, too. I breathed in his scent and wished in vain that I could stay frozen there with Jacob forever.

Finally, reluctantly, I opened my eyes. Jacob was staring right at me, one corner of his mouth turned up in amusement.

_Oh my God, what is he looking at? Is it my hair? Do I reek? I didn't shower after yesterday's cliff diving. . ._ I was suddenly very self-conscious, and my mind ran through a dozen reasons for the look on Jacob's face.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked insecurely. Jacob's smile widened.

"Do you know you talk in your sleep?" I flushed crimson.

"What did I say?" I demanded. I could remember my dream. What I _couldn't_ remember was any conversation within that dream.

"Oh, nothing important. You just kept saying my name. A _lot_. I lost count. The first time it scared me half to death. You sounded so. . . I don't know. Lost? Uncertain? I thought something was wrong. But then I realized you were still asleep." My blush, if possible, deepened.

"I'm sorry I scared you," I whispered, embarrassed.

"Oh, Bells! You don't have to apologize! It's not like you can control it! But I _am_ curious. . . Was it a good dream or a bad dream?"

I thought about his question for a moment. This time through the dream, I hadn't wandered aimlessly, searching for God knows what. I'd had a purpose this time around, something to follow. And, of course, Jake had been there, and he'd been warm and gentle and. . . everything I'd ever wanted or needed in a relationship. Yes. It had been a very good dream. No Edward, no panic, no waking up screaming.

"Good," I replied. "In fact, it was the best dream I've had in a long time."

"Mmm, maybe you should spend the night more often," Jacob murmured in a low voice, pulling me closer.

I gladly snuggled into Jacob's comfortable chest as his arms tightened around me. I was a perfect fit, as if God himself had carved out a home for me in Jacob's arms. I draped my arm over Jacob and traced the defined muscles in his back.

Jacob's breathing became shallow. He angled toward me, ready to kiss me, when he suddenly became rigid.

"Damn, Billy's up," he said in a disappointed voice. "And he wants to know what's going on." He rolled out of bed, then reached for my hand, pulling me up. I stumbled a little at the sudden shift of gravity in my brain and Jacob grabbed me before my tripping turned into a full-on assault of my fragile body.

"Easy there, Bells, no need to rush," Jacob said, holding back a laugh.

"But—but. . . won't Billy think that we. . . I mean, I'm in your _room_ and I _slept over_. . . Won't he think we were. . ." I couldn't bring myself to finish, and I blushed furiously.

"Aw, don't worry, Bella! I'll explain everything to him. If you want, you can go ahead home to change or whatever and I'll meet you in about an hour. I gotta check in with Sam anyway," Jacob said, gently nudging me out into the hall.

I sighed, visibly relieved. "Okay, Jake, thanks." We walked passed Billy in the living room as he looked at me curiously. "Hi, Billy. Bye, Billy," I said as Jacob kept pushing me until we were outside. I turned on him. "You could've at least given me a chance to say hi!"

Jacob looked taken aback. "You _did_ say hi! Besides, I wasn't going to give him a chance to embarrass you." I relaxed.

"Oh," I said, flushing again.

"Oh," he teased, tweaking my nose.

"Hey—" But my protest was cut off as Jacob swooped down and planted his lips on mine. My breath caught, and I was transported to a different world.

I suddenly got the feeling that someone was watching us. Thinking it was Billy, I broke the kiss and looked around Jacob. There was no Billy. Confused, I turned back to Jacob.

"Hey, Jake, Bella," a low voice said, not two feet behind me. I gasped and whirled around. It was just Sam. He nodded at me, then looked at Jacob expectantly.

"Well, I guess you should be going, Bells. Don't want Charlie getting the wrong ideas, ha!" Jacob seemed nervous. I wondered if it was because of the look Sam had on his face. Before I could think too much on the subject, Jacob led me to my truck. Kissing me, he said goodbye and I drove off, his anxious behavior still swirling around in my head.

I felt so much better after I'd showered and brushed my teeth. Charlie hadn't been there when I'd gotten home. I assumed he was at Sue's, helping her prepare for the funeral. Still wrapped in a towel, I went back into my room to decide on my attire for the day.

After throwing aside several outfits, I finally settled on a dark red blouse and faded jeans. I was running a brush through my hair when the phone rang.

"Hello?" I answered after the third ring.

"Bells?" It was Jacob. "Hey, I'm going to be just a little late. Sam's holding me up," he said, trying to make a joke out it, but I could hear something else in his voice. Not wanting to press the subject, I told him that I'd be okay for a few extra minutes and we hung up.

Those 'few extra minutes' stretched into an hour, and then two. I was beginning to get anxious; the laundry I was attempting to do was still sitting in the washer, clean and ready to be dried, where it had been for a half an hour. I kept getting up from my chair in the kitchen to peer out the window, as if Jake would appear any second.

Finally, after three hours of nothing, I gave in and called. When, after the fourth try, there was still no answer, I made up my mind. I'd just drive down to La Push. I'm sure I'd run into him eventually. I hopped into my truck and drove the familiar road into the small reservation town. Within minutes of entering La Push, I parked my truck firmly in front of Jacob's house. I was determined to sit there all day if I had to.

But before I had a chance to settle in, my door was violently wrenched open. I jumped; I hadn't seen anyone approach. I turned to see my attacker; it was Jacob. I sighed in relief, but then I noticed that he was quivering from head to toe.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING, DRIVING UP HERE BY YOURSELF! DO YOU _WANT_ TO GET KILLED? DO YOU _WANT_ TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK?"

"Jake, what—"

"DO YOU REALLY THINK I FORGOT ABOUT YOU? I'VE HAD QUIL ON YOUR TAIL SINCE THE MOMENT YOU LEFT!"

"I—Wait. You had me followed?"

"JESUS, BELLA! VICTORIA'S GONE! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED! THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T WANT TO COME GET YOU YET!"

"Jake, we already know she's dead! Why are you—"

"DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS MEANS? FOR YOU, FOR ME, FOR _EVERYONE_!"

"Jake, I understand! If you don't want me anymore, I UNDERSTAND! YOU CAN STOP PRETENDING TO CARE!" I had no idea where on earth my last comment came from. I supposed it stemmed from all of my insecurities about our relationship. My life had done a complete turnaround from one single moment: The decision to turn my head. Now Jacob was shouting at me, and I was scared that those blissful twenty-four hours had been a hoax. That maybe he'd realized his mistake, and maybe he hadn't _really_ imprinted on me. . .

My sudden outburst had snapped Jacob out of his frenzy. His body was suddenly still, and he was pulling me from the truck. He set me gently on the ground and wrapped me in his arms.

"Bella," he murmured, his voice completely opposite of what it had been a minute before. "How could you ever say that? How could I ever not want you? I love you, Bells. I'll never have to pretend with you. Do you understand that?" He squeezed me to him tighter.

"Yes," I whispered. And suddenly, tears flooded down my cheeks.

Pulling me back, Jacob looked at my tears and reached up to swipe them away. "Let's go talk," he said, pulling me in the direction of the beach. About fifteen minutes later, Jacob was sitting with his legs spread out in front of them with me in between, my back to his warm chest. He had his arms around me, and I felt at peace.

"So," I began.

"So," he echoed.

"Do you think maybe you can tell me what happened back there?" I heard Jacob sigh.

"Victoria."

"What about her?" A moment of silence passed before Jacob continued.

"When the guys went to burn her body, it was gone. All they could find of her was her hand." My body suddenly seized in panic, but Jacob held me down. _Victoria! Oh God, oh God, oh God!_

"Calm down, Bella," he commanded, and I felt myself relax. "All we can figure is that when we threw her body and head into the forest so you wouldn't see it when you woke up, they must have somehow landed too close to each other and sealed themselves back together. But she's wounded. She's missing a hand and she just came back from the dead. It'll be a while before she attacks again, _if _ she attacks again. The whole pack was out all night searching, and the followed her scent all the way east across the state. She's gone, Bella, but dammit, I was so scared! I didn't mean to yell at you, I was just so worked up and I didn't want you to freak out! All I could think of was your safety, and when Quil told me you'd left, I just went into a blind rage! You're such a danger magnet, Bella, I was just scared that. . . I don't know, that the bloodsucker would pop into existence right in front of you. I'm sorry."

I listened to Jacob with increasing relief. She was gone. Maybe not for good, but perhaps just long enough for me to get out of Forks. Maybe I'd move here, to La Push, to be with Jacob. Then I'd have the protection of the entire pack and they wouldn't have to go out of their way every night to keep patrol over me.

"Jake, it's okay. _I'm_ sorry. I should've just stayed put," I insisted.

"Don't apologize, Bells. I was just irritated because I'd been patrolling the borders, and that filthy rotten stench was _everywhere_. I mean, the scent was old, but still. After a while it just puts us in a bad mood."

"What exactly is it that you smell anyway?" I asked, curious. I'd always thought they smelled wonderful, but I was human. That was the nature of the beast. They were _supposed_ to be attractive in every aspect to their prey. Lucky me, though, that I should happen to run into an entire coven of vegetarian vampires. I laughed bitterly to myself.

"Think of vampires like marshmallows," Jacob said suddenly, as if he'd come up with the perfect metaphor. It was the last thing I'd expected to hear. _Did he seriously just put the words 'vampires' with 'marshmallows?'_ I thought to myself. The two were absolutely nothing alike. Marshmallows were so soft and fluffy and vampires were so. . . _not_. The only thing they had in common, perhaps, was the coloring.

"Did you seriously just compare vampires to _marshmallows_?" I asked incredulously.

"No. I said the _smell_."

"Vampires smell like marshmallows?"

"No. Bells, would ya let me finish?" I was silent, and he continued. "Think about walking in the supermarket. You know those s'more displays with the graham crackers on one side, chocolate bars on another side, and marshmallows on the third? Well when you walk by, all you can smell is the marshmallows, and it's so tempting, so you buy some. Then you get them home, put 'em on a stick, and roast them over a fire. While they're cooking, they smell so damn good that all you can think about is getting them closer, in your mouth. While you're busy thinking all this, you don't notice they've burnt, and when you finally get them to your mouth, it's too late. They smell disgusting, and something that was once so attractive has shown what it could become."

Okay. I was officially confused. Were we talking about smells or the nature of vampires? I asked him.

"Hmm. . . I suppose I _was _talking more about their nature. . . well, they do kinda smell like burnt marshmallows."

"Jacob Black, that is the _worst_ analogy I have ever heard!" I teased.

"Hey, I tried, didn't I? Cut me some slack!" He laughed. The air surrounding us seemed to crackle with electricity as Jacob's breathing became shallow. I knew what he wanted to do, and I turned my head to accept it.

It was the best one yet; our lips buzzed with the same energy that was floating around us. I turned my body so that I was crouching in front of him, and he laid back, pulling me down with him. Our kiss deepened. It was intense, and I felt like there was no stopping us now. At least not me. Where I'd been responsible enough to stop last night, I wasn't sure I _wanted_ to stop now. Jacob's tongue entered and explored my mouth, and I willingly allowed it, and even ventured so far as to try it out myself. I had _never_ been allowed to do anything so intimate with Edward. Leaning on Jacob, I was suddenly aware of his body, and I realized that I could _feel_ his excitement. My heart pounded erratically.

Fortunately. . .even though part of me was a little disappointed, Jacob knew me and respected me enough to break off the passionate kiss. "Bella. . .I want this, I do. But. . .I know neither of us are ready. I want to make sure that we won't regret it, and I want the timing to be perfect. I love you, and I want it to be special for you. I just. . .I don't think losing our virginity on a sandy beach exactly qualifies as romantic. I sound like an idiot, don't I?"

I was pleased. Jacob, albeit a sixteen-year-old hormonal teenage boy, actually _cared_ about when and where we first. . ._intensified _our relationship. I couldn't be more ecstatic.

I smiled at him. "I love you, Jake." He smiled my smile.

"Wow, really? I was afraid you'd be mad, then I was scared that I was way off the mark and that sex was the last thing on your mind. I didn't want to offend you." He sounded so relieved that I just had to laugh at him.

"Well, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thinking about it. But I'm glad you stopped. Anyway, you need to get ready for Harry's funeral," I reminded him. He nodded.

"And _you_ will be at my house. With the door locked. You aren't going anywhere near Forks tonight. Not until we're positive she's not coming back." As he said this, the forest behind us rustled and an enormous creature stepped out. I shrieked.


	8. Chapter 4: Jacob

_CHAPTER FOUR – DREAMS AND MARSHMALLOWS – JACOB_

I was running through the forest at a breakneck speed. I felt so exhilarated and free. In my wolf form, I could see, hear, and smell just about everything within a two-mile radius, from the leaves settling on the ground to Bella wandering through the forest.

I skidded to a halt. Bella wandering in the forest? That couldn't be right. She knew better than that.

_Oh!_ I realized suddenly that this was a dream. I knew it was a dream because I couldn't even remember phasing and going out into the forest in the first place. I'd just kind of appeared there. So I stopped and watched Bella from a distance. She looked lost and she was stumbling around as if if she were looking for something.

A feeling came over me then. Bella was on the verge of a breakdown. I don't know how I knew, but I knew I needed to do something. I walked towards her until she could see me. The look of surprise on her face was comical. Clearing she wasn't expecting company. I jerked my head for her to follow me, and I turned and started walking at a slower pace into the surrounding forest.

I had no idea where I was going, and yet at the same time, I felt _compelled_. I could hear Bella stumbling around behind me, but I couldn't seem to force myself to turn to her. Finally, after a long while, I walked straight into the very clearing where Bella had seen me in my wolf form, unbeknownst to her at the time, of course, for the first time. I darted across the clearing and hid in the trees to phase back. I reached down to untie my shorts from my leg and was surprised to see that I was already wearing them.

_Huh. Weird. Too bad that doesn't happen in real life,_ I thought to myself. I looked back to the clearing. Bella was there, and it looked like she was about to fall apart. Now that I thought about it, the last time she'd been in the clearing was when that male bloodsucker had almost killed her. And now there she was, alone in the clearing again.

_Then get the hell out there, Jake, so she doesn't go to pieces!_ I mentally kicked myself and darted forward. For a moment, Bella's faced seized in terror, but then relaxed immediately upon seeing that it was just me.

"Jake?"

Abruptly, I awoke. Bella had spoken, and she'd sounded _frightened_. Suddenly frightened myself, I looked down at Bella.

What? What's wro—" I cut off. Bella was still asleep. And I was confused. _What the hell! I could've sworn. . ._ My thoughts trailed off as Bella's lips moved.

"Oh, Jake," she breathed. I smiled broadly. She was talking in her sleep. And saying my name. _My_ name. Which meant she was dreaming of _me_. I was a little jealous, though. I wished my own dream could have continued. I could imagine striding over to her, touching her hair, pulling her down to lie with me in the grass, whispering my love to her, kissing those sweet lips. . .

"I love you, Jacob," Bella sighed. My smile widened. If only she knew how much _I_ loved _her_. I heard her breathing change; she was waking up. Trying to erase my giant smile, I waited for her eyes to open.

She kept her eyes shut for a few moments, which was fine by me, since I was still fighting the urge to burst out laughing. But finally, she opened them. Her brow furrowed. _Why is she looking at me like that?_ I wondered.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked. I couldn't help smiling widely at her. _I guess I didn't do a good job of trying to hide my amusement._

"Do you know you talk in your sleep?" She blushed deeply.

"What did I say?" she demanded, her brow furrowing again.

"Oh, nothing important. You just kept saying my name. A _lot_. I lost count." That wasn't exactly true, she'd only said it three times, but the look on her face was worth the fib. I continued. "The first time it scared me half to death. You sounded so. . . I don't know. Lost? Uncertain? I thought something was wrong. But then I realized you were still asleep."

"I'm sorry I scared you," she whispered, taking me by surprise. I'd expected anger, maybe a punch or two, but not an apology.

"Oh, Bells! You don't have to apologize! It's not like you can control it! But I am curious. . . Was it a good dream or a bad dream?" She seemed to ponder my question for a moment.

"Good. In fact, it was the best dream I've had in a long time." My eyebrows shot up. If _that _was the effect I had on her. . .

"Mmm, maybe you should spend the night more often," I murmured, pulling her closer to me. I wanted to kiss her. My heart sped up and my breathing quickened. Why did I always get so damn nervous? I was just about to seal the deal when I heard movement from the living room.

"Jake? You here? What's going on?" It was Billy. He'd spoken no louder than if I'd been sitting right next to him, but he knew I'd hear him if I was in the house.

"Damn, Billy's up, and he wants to know what's going on." I said, clearly disappointed. I jumped out of bed and pulled Bella up in one smooth motion. I would never get used to the new gracefulness that came with my being a werewolf. Of course, Bella _wasn't_ very graceful and she tipped forward as soon as she was standing. Instinctively, I reached out and pulled her to me.

"Easy there, Bells, no need to rush," I teased, still thinking of Bella's clumsiness.

"But—but. . . won't Billy think that we. . . I mean, I'm in your _room_ and I _slept over_. . . Won't he think we were. . ." _Having wild and crazy sex? _I finished her sentence in my head. But I knew Billy would understand. I also knew that he would believe me when I told him nothing had happened.

"Aw, don't worry, Bella! I'll explain everything to him. If you want, you can go ahead home to change or whatever and I'll meet you in about an hour. I gotta check in with Sam anyway," I said, pushing her gently out into the hallway. I wasn't trying to get rid of her; I really did have to check in with Sam, plus I knew that Bella would probably want to shower, especially after yesterday's little diving incident.

She sighed in relief. "Okay, Jake, thanks." I continued to push Bella towards the front door. Billy gave her a quizzical look and, attempting to avoid an awkward conversation.

"Hi, Billy. Bye, Billy," Bella said as I pushed her right out the front door. Then she turned, pissed as all get out. "You could've at least given me a chance to say hi!"

_Uh. . . I could have sworn I heard her say it._ "You _did_ say hi! Besides, I wasn't going to give him a chance to embarrass you." I saw the tension leave Bella's body at these words. She _hated_ unnecessary attention.

"Oh," she said, turning bright red.

"Oh," I echoed, lightly pinching the end of her nose.

"Hey—" I acted quickly, swooping down and planting a kiss on her delicious lips.

I could hear someone approach, but I didn't care to open my eyes and break the kiss. Bella, however, must have had a sixth sense that I was unaware of, because I felt her body tense slightly and she broke off, peering around me, I suppose to see if it was Billy watching us. With my eyes open, I could see that it was Sam, standing a couple of feet behind Bella. He communicated silently that he had some news to share with me that shouldn't include Bella. I looked down at Bella to see her staring at me with a perplexed look on her face.

"Hey, Jake, Bella," Sam said gravely. Bella gasped and swung around to face Sam. Clearly she hadn't thought to look further than my front door for the source of her goosebumps. Sam nodded at Bella, then looked at me with raised eyebrows, indicating that it was time to send Bella off. I was growing more and more nervous of Sam's strange expression.

"Well, I guess you should be going, Bells. Don't want Charlie getting the wrong ideas, ha!" I said the words much too quickly, and it came out sounding incredibly fake. Bella's brow furrowed, and I knew she was suspicious. So before she could say anything more, I led her, probably with more urgency than necessary, to her truck and kissed her.

"Bye," I said, and she drove off. I'm almost certain that she thought about my strange behavior the whole way home.

As soon as I was sure she was gone, I turned sharply to Sam. "What the hell is going on?" I demanded. Sam shifted.

"It's the female," he began.

"What about her?" I asked, quite rudely considering I was speaking to the Alpha.

"When we went back in the woods to burn her, she was gone. I don't understand how we didn't catch her leaving, but she did. All we could find was a hand that was relatively close to the clearing. We assume she didn't want to risk getting too close to us to retrieve it. She—"

"Wait! What the hell! How is this possible? I ripped her g_oddamn_ head off! How could she still be alive?" I was starting to get hysterical. Especially since I'd just sent Bella out there on her own. . .I gasped. "Bella!" Without any warning, I phased. My shredded sweatpants floated down to the ground.

Desperately, I searched to see if any of the other guys were phased.

_'Whoever is out there, I need you to tail Bella. She's on her way home. DO NOT LEAVE HER, DO NOT LOSE TRACK OF HER! TELL ME IMMEDIATELY IF SHE LEAVES! IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?'_ There was a moment of silence.

_'Yeah, sure, _Alpha, _whatever you say.' _It was Quil.

_'Do as he says.' _Sam had joined us. Quil didn't say anything more, so I assumed he'd gotten the message.

_'Sam, how did this happen? I mean, you saw it, I ripped her head completely off! Is there another one? One that might've gotten her body?'_

_'There was no other scent but hers. We tracked it all the way to the eastern border of the state. Wherever she went, she won't be back for a while. As for how it happened. . .We think when the guys threw her body and head into the forest, they may have landed too closely together. She was so freshly dead that her venom must have still been working, and her head sealed itself back on. The area was so saturated with her scent that none of us noticed her leave. We didn't alert you last night because we saw Bella's truck and knew she was there. We didn't want her to panic.'_

_'What should I do? Should I look some more?'_

_'That's where I'm headed right now. I just want to be sure.'_

_'I'll join you.'_

For the next hour, we ran as fast as we could—which was pretty darn fast, considering we could catch bloodsuckers—until we reached the border where Sam said her scent was last. I called Bella quickly and told her I'd be late. I was hoping it wouldn't be _too_ late, but I was completely lost in concentration before I realized that I'd told her I'd be a few minutes late two hours before.

I was still uncomfortable with the vampire still being alive, but was satisfied that her scent kept going past the border, without switchbacks or attempts to throw us off.

Sam and I ran home in silence. I thought mostly about Bella and how quickly our relationship had developed in such a short amount of time. If I'd known I was going to imprint on her, I'd have tried a whole hell of a lot harder when that _Cullen_ was around. I shuddered just thinking of him and what he'd done to Bella. She had fallen apart when he'd left, and if he ever dared to show his face around here again. . .I didn't _want_ to know what I'd do, especially now that Bella was mine.

About fifteen miles from home, Quil frantically contacted me.

_'Jake, I think she got fed up with waiting! She's heading over to your place right now! I'm sorry, I didn't want her to freak out, or I'd have stopped her!'_

Panic jolted through my body. I knew the vampire was nowhere near Forks or La Push. Hell, she wasn't even near _Washington_, but all I kept seeing was the female popping up in front of Bella's car and—and—I couldn't bear to finish the thought. I raced faster than I ever had before to my house.

I got there just as Bella was pulling up, but she hadn't noticed me yet. I grabbed a pair of shorts out of the garage and stomped over to the driver-side door. She still hadn't noticed me.

I was shaking, I knew it. I knew that it was dangerous to allow Bella to be near me when I was this angry, but it didn't stop me from yanking the door open and begin shouting at her.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING, DRIVING UP HERE BY YOURSELF! DO YOU _WANT_ TO GET KILLED? DO YOU _WANT_ TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK?"

"Jake, what—"

"DO YOU REALLY THINK I FORGOT ABOUT YOU? I'VE HAD QUIL ON YOUR TAIL SINCE THE MOMENT YOU LEFT!"

"I—Wait. You had me followed?"

"JESUS, BELLA! VICTORIA'S GONE! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED! THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T WANT TO COME GET YOU YET!"

"Jake, we already know she's dead! Why are you—"

"DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS MEANS? FOR YOU, FOR ME, FOR _EVERYONE_!" I was _really_ shaking now.

"Jake, I understand! If you don't want me anymore, I UNDERSTAND! YOU CAN STOP PRETENDING TO CARE!" Abruptly, my body was still. I was absolutely shell-shocked. Is that what she thought, that I didn't _want_ her? _Of all the ridiculous—_

I pulled Bella out of the truck and into my arms."Bella," I murmured. "How could you ever say that? How could I ever not want you? I love you, Bells. I'll never have to pretend with you. Do you understand that?" I squeezed her for good measure.

"Yes," she whispered. And then she was crying. _Oh, great job Jake, make her cry why don't you._

I pulled back a little so that I could wipe her tears away. "Let's go talk," I said, pulling her towards the the beach. We walked, hand-in-hand, all the way to First Beach, where I sat down in the sand with my legs stretched out in front of me. I patted a spot in between them for Bella to sit, and, with her back to my chest, I put my arms around her and pulled her close.

"So," Bella started.

"So," I answered.

"Do you think maybe you can tell me what happened back there?" I'd known this was coming. I sighed deeply before uttering a single name.

"Victoria."

"What about her?" _Good question. Now how do I answer? _I decided just to spit it all out at once in the hopes that she wouldn't read too much into it.

"When the guys went to burn her body, it was gone. All they could find of her was her hand." Bella's body seized, and I squeezed her to me as hard as I possibly could without hurting her. I should've known better that to hope that she wouldn't read too much into it. She was observant and rarely missed anything.

"Calm down, Bella," I ordered. To my utmost surprise, she listened. "All we can figure is that when we threw her body and head into the forest so you wouldn't see it when you woke up, they must have somehow landed too close to each other and sealed themselves back together. But she's wounded. She's missing a hand and she just came back from the dead. It'll be a while before she attacks again, _if _she attacks again. The whole pack was out all night searching, and they followed her scent all the way east across the state. She's gone, Bella, but dammit, I was so scared! I didn't mean to yell at you, I was just so worked up and I didn't want you to freak out! All I could think of was your safety, and when Quil told me you'd left, I just went into a blind rage! You're such a danger magnet, Bella, I was just scared that. . . I don't know, that the bloodsucker would pop into existence right in front of you. I'm sorry."

I could feel the tension leave Bella with every word I said.

"Jake, it's okay. _I'm_ sorry. I should've just stayed put," she insisted. _Talk about ridiculous. . ._

"Don't apologize, Bells. I was just irritated because I'd been patrolling the borders, and that filthy rotten stench was _everywhere_. I mean, the scent was old, but still. After a while it just puts us in a bad mood."

"What exactly is it that you smell anyway?" _What kind of question is that? How on Earth am I supposed to explain?_ Then an idea came to me.

"Think of vampires like marshmallows." I could see confusion cloud Bella's face.

"Did you seriously just compare vampires to _marshmallows_?" I couldn't help but smile.

"No. I said the _smell_."

"Vampires smell like marshmallows?"

"No. Bells, would ya let me finish?" She didn't say anything more. "Think about walking in the supermarket. You know those s'more displays with the graham crackers on one side, chocolate bars on another side, and marshmallows on the third? Well when you walk by, all you can smell is the marshmallows, and it's so tempting, so you buy some. Then you get them home, put 'em on a stick, and roast them over a fire. While they're cooking, they smell so damn good that all you can think about is getting them closer, in your mouth. While you're busy thinking all this, you don't notice they've burnt, and when you finally get them to your mouth, it's too late. They smell disgusting, and something that was once so attractive has shown what it could become."

Bella's brow furrowed even more. "Are you sure you're not talking about their nature rather than their scent?" she asked. Oh, yeah. I guess I was.

"Hmm. . . I suppose I _was _talking more about their nature. . . well, they do kinda smell like burnt marshmallows." Well, it was true.

"Jacob Black, that is the _worst_ analogy I have ever heard!" she joked. _Hey, now. . ._

"Hey, I tried, didn't I? Cut me some slack!" I laughed loudly. My smile faded and I suddenly became serious. It felt like there was a current in the air, and I just knew that I had to kiss her. I wondered briefly if I'd ever get over being nervous about kissing her.

My thoughts were cut short as our lips met, and they tingled as if the current were running through _us_ now instead of the air. Bella turned until she was crouched down in facing me. I could feel our self-control slipping away as the kissing became heavy and passionate. Not that I minded. But Bella deserved better than this. She deserved better than an uncomfortable, sandy, rocky beach. So, with extraordinary reluctance, I forced myself to stop kissing Bella.

"Bella. . .I want this, I do. But. . .I know neither of us are ready. I want to make sure that we won't regret it, and I want the timing to be perfect. I love you, and I want it to be special for you. I just. . .I don't think losing our virginity on a sandy beach exactly qualifies as romantic. I sound like an idiot, don't I?" I cringed, waiting for her to laugh of hit me or both. For all I knew, she hadn't even been thinking in _that_ direction.

She surprised me again by smiling. "I love you, Jake." An enormous grin erupted on my face. _Oh, thank God._

"Wow, really? I was afraid you'd be mad, then I was scared that I was way off the mark and that sex was the last thing on your mind. I didn't want to offend you."

She laughed at me. "Well, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thinking about it. But I'm glad you stopped. Anyway, you need to get ready for Harry's funeral," she reminded me. _Darn. Oh well, she'll be here when I get back. I hope._ I nodded at Bella.

"And _you_ will be at my house. With the door locked. You aren't going anywhere near Forks tonight. Not until we're positive she's not coming back." I wouldn't risk losing her, even though I'd only be gone a couple of hours.

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, the bushes at the edge of the woods behind me rustled, and Bella, who was still facing me, snapped her head up to meet the sound. As soon as she saw whatever it was, she let out a bloodcurdling shriek.

_**Author's End Notes**_

**Hey! Thanks to those of you who have left reviews! I really appreciate it, so keep them coming! I love to know how my story is being received! Currently, my story has earned a spot in about 20 people's Favorite Stories List, and even more have subscribed to the Alerts! Thank you so much for your support! Please head on over to my forum for this story and post! Just paste this into your web browser after the .net/: ****forum/Bella_and_the_Werewolves_Discussion/62765/ **


	9. Chapter 5: Bella

_CHAPTER FIVE – FAILURE – BELLA_

The creature stopped and looked at me. I realized too late that it was a giant wolf; one of the pack members. Jacob had already jumped to his feet, ready to pounce. When he saw the wolf, though, he didn't relax in the slightest. Instead, he muttered something to me about "be right back," and stomped off angrily into the forest, followed by the wolf.

I could hear Jake arguing with whoever the wolf was, and finally he came stomping right back out of the forest. The wolf was nowhere to be found. He stood over me with a scowl on his face and held his hand out for me to take. I took it and allowed him to pull me up.

The walk home was silent. I knew Jake wasn't upset at me, but the anger rolling off of him made me feel like he was. Although I let him hold my hand the whole way, I refused to say a word, fearing that my voice would betray me.

We reached the house, and Jacob stopped short in the yard, startling me. He spun me around to look at me, and the look in his eyes was a mixture of contemplation and a wildness that made my heart thrum violently against my ribcage. He seemed to consider me for a moment before he stepped closer to me. I looked at him questioningly.

"What are you thinking?" he whispered, threading his fingers through my hair and leaning down until his forehead was against mine. My heart stuttered as I clamored for words. My breathing came quicker and my heart thudded painfully in my chest.

"I. . .I'm afraid that you're angry with me," I finally breathed, settling for the truth rather than some corny excuse. Jacob sighed, and a bit of pain mixed with the emotions in his eyes.

"Why would I ever be angry with you, Bella? Don't you understand? You're my whole life now. I can't afford to lose you. Not this time, not when we've come so far. It. . .would kill me," said Jacob. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes at Jacob's words.

"I love you, Jacob," I said, touching my lips lightly to his. His reaction was not what I had expected. Instead of deepening the kiss, he pulled away slightly, then kissed a trail down my jawline and onto my neck.

My heart was erratic now. I was sure it would stop beating at any moment. Jacob nuzzled into my neck, leaving hot kisses everywhere. My breath was rattly and uneven, and it was all I could do to stay standing. Then he kissed me behind the ear and my hips bucked forward involuntarily. Jacob's arms wrapped tightly around my waist, and he gave me a final squeeze before he trailed his kisses back up to my mouth, where he kissed me lightly, once, then twice, then finally pulled away.

We stayed there with our foreheads pressed together, breathing heavily, for a few minutes. Our eyes didn't leave each others' once. Jacob, not wanting to ruin the moment with petty conversation, pulled me into his embrace, as close as he could possibly get me.

Then suddenly, he jerked away, and I was so shocked by the sudden move that I tumbled to the ground. I looked up at Jacob with my mouth hanging wide open. _What just happened?_

Jacob was breathing hard, his brow furrowed, his nostrils flaring. He had his fists balled up at his sides and a hatred that I had never known before burned in his eyes. He frightened me.

"Jake?" I asked tentatively. "Jake, what's wrong?" And, just as abruptly as he'd gone into it, he snapped out of his strange stance. He looked at me quickly, where I was still lying on the ground. Awareness and pain flashed across his eyes. He bent down to pick me up.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I. . .thought I smelled something for a second there," he murmured, encasing me in his warm arms again. "Listen, you stay in my room until I get back, okay? Keep the door locked, and don't answer unless you know for sure it's one of us. And for God's sake, Bella, _don't leave_."

I nodded, caught off guard by his sudden seriousness. He walked me into his house, Billy was all ready to go. He pulled me into his room and shut the door. Turning away just long enough to grab a black button-down dress shirt from his tiny closet, he pulled me down to sit next to him on the bed.

"Bella," he began, still serious. "I'm sorry if I'm moving too fast for you, okay? I know how hard it was when. . .Edward left. And I haven't even officially asked you out yet! I just assumed, and I feel like such an ass for that. Can you forgive me?" I looked into Jacob's pleading eyes, and I couldn't help but smile.

"Jake, you don't have to apologize for anything! You are my boyfriend. There doesn't need to be some special ceremony or anything. And yeah, it was hard when he left. . .but I'm starting to get over it, _finally_, and it's all because of you. You made me realize that _you_ were the one I was suppose to be with, not Edward, not Mike, not _anyone_ else but you," I said, promptly blushing. Jacob's grin widened.

"You're so cute when you blush," he said, pinching my cheek. I scowled at him. Jacob just laughed. "I really should be going. But don't worry, you won't be alone. One of the guys will keep an eye on the house."

"But what about the funeral? I don't want anyone to miss it!" I protested. I'd be fine, I don't know why everyone was making such a big deal out of everything.

"Don't worry! Just promise me you'll stay here!"

"Sure, sure," I agreed, using Jacob's familiar phrase. He chuckled, kissed me lightly on the tip of my nose, then turned and left, making sure to carefully lock the door behind him.

I sighed and laid back on Jacob's bed, breathing the musky cologne of Jacob that saturated the room. Before I knew what had hit me, I'd fallen asleep, into dreams of Jacob and I.

I awoke abruptly to the sound of howling outside the window. It was darker, close to dusk. I sat bolt upright in Jacob's bed and looked toward the window. I stood quickly and peered out into the fading light. I couldn't see anything that should cause one of the pack members to howl so loudly. I opened the window and stuck my head out, glancing around. There were storm clouds I the distance; I knew it'd be a long night of tossing and turning back in my own room at home. The wind gushed, and I quickly drew in my head and slammed the window shut, locking it for extra measure.

Then a loud boom shook the house. My heart slammed into fourth gear as I ran to the door and unlocked it fervently, flinging it open as soon as I'd accomplished it. I couldn't see much; most of the lights were off, and it was dark in the retreating sun. But from what I _could_ see, there wasn't anyone in the house. I considered going back to Jake's room, but curiosity got the better of me. I really should have known better, since I knew Victoria was out there somewhere, but I was confident that whatever was causing all the raucous had nothing to do with her.

So I unlocked the front door and stepped outside. The wind was blowing hard, and my hair whipped around my face, making it hard to see. Then—there. A flash of orange in the trees.

"Oh!" I gasped in surprise. Orange. _Victoria!_ Without thinking, I sprinted to my truck as if I were an Olympic track runner going for the gold. I fumbled desperately for the handle, and jumped in as soon as it was open. The keys were still in the ignition, so I quickly turned them. The engine turned over, then sputtered and died.

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!" I shrieked at the steering wheel. I turned the keys again and the engine roared to life. I slammed my foot down on the accelerator and shot away from Jacob's house like a bat straight out of the furthest reaches of hell.

I had to get home. I had to get away. I had to do _something_. I knew the funeral would be getting wrapped up and that Charlie would be home soon. I had to warn him. All rational thought had gone from my head as I pushed my poor truck to its absolute limits.

I realized, much, much too late, what was going on. I slammed on the brakes and screeched to a halt, about a mile from home.

Victoria could have caught me any time she wanted to, especially in this rust bucket of a truck. So why was she letting me get so far away from her? Unless. . .that was the whole point. Get me out of La Push and away from the immediate protection of the pack. Get me alone. My hands began to tremor violently as I struggled to pull my truck over to the side of the road and into the brush. I couldn't risk Charlie seeing my truck and wandering out into the woods to find me. I couldn't afford for him to die at my expense.

I finally got my truck far enough into the forest so that it couldn't be seen by anyone driving by. I sat there for a moment; I was panicking inside, but I was trying to come to terms with my imminent death. I knew it would mean never seeing Renee, Charlie, and. . .Jake. . .ever again. My heart throbbed in agony at that thought. Another flash of orange ripped me from my self-mourning. It would be over soon enough.

Suddenly, all the tension left my body. This was it, I could feel it. I calmly opened the door and stepped out into the woods. The wind wasn't as strong here, since it had to fight its way through the trees to get to me. I walked several paces from my truck and stopped in a tiny twelve-foot-diameter clearing, complete with lush grass and boulders around the edge. I froze there and waited.

Victoria stepped out from the shadows. She smiled wickedly at me, but I did not respond. I did not want to show her any fear. My face remained still and unemotional, my eyes staring straight into hers, almost daring her to move again. She did, but it was just begin circling me.

I recognized her tactics. She wanted me to panic, to run. She wanted to see some fight. I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction, though I knew either way, she'd kill me in the end. She chuckled behind me. I did not turn.

"Brave, are we?" she laughed. She was in front of me now, her face a mere inches from my own. I stared back, unmoving, uncaring. She smirked. "Why don't you RUN!" she shrieked, jerking her body toward me. "Why don't you CRY! Why don't you SCREAM for your little boyfriend! He's dead, you know. Or at least, he _will_ be, as soon as I'm finished with you!"

Her words bounced off me, one by one. I wanted her to shut up and just kill me already. It seemed, however, that I was just irritating her with my unresponsiveness. She suddenly grabbed me, gentle enough not to break my neck, but with enough force that I jerked painfully forward nevertheless. She breathed her cool air onto my neck and ran her tongue across its skin, sending involuntary shivers up my spine.

"I can see why that Edward had such a fascination with you," she whispered into my ear. "Don't worry. It won't be long. You won't feel much. . .if you're lucky," she added, letting me go so that I fell to the ground. Victoria strode forward a few feet. I noticed that her hand was missing from her left arm. The skin around it was sealed flawlessly, as if she were born that way. She stopped and slowly turned to me, an evil grin across her inhumanly perfect face.

As she stepped toward me again, I noticed a shadow fly impossibly fast toward her, but I did not acknowledge it, for I knew what it was and didn't want to alert Victoria. It was Jacob. He slammed into her at full-speed, sending them both rolling to the ground. She screamed, more as a distraction technique than anything.

Jake would not be deterred. He snapped and slashed and growled and fought with everything he had. I was surprised to find that I had sunk down to my knees, most likely in response to the fact that now Jake would surely die because of me. How much blood had to spill before she finally got to her intended target? Tears rolled down my face uncontrollably. I was aware that I was screaming.

"No, no, no! Stop! Please, just kill me! Kill _me_!" My words slurred together as I became increasingly incoherent. I was close to unconsciousness; I could feel it tinging the outer perimeter of my mind.

Suddenly, another shadow, then another, and another, flew in front of me, toward the ball of marble flesh and fur that was Jacob and Victoria. Help had arrived, and I held the darkness back, forcing myself to stay conscious. A terrible, earsplitting shrieking noise ripped through the air, and I realized in a blind panic that it had come from Jake.

Almost as soon as Jacob had screamed, the clearing was empty. Victoria was running, and the majority of the pack was in full pursuit. I knew they would not stop until Victoria was dead this time, boundaries and whatnot be damned. The clearing was empty—save for Jake.

He was lying in a crumpled ball on the ground, his beautiful russet fur heavily matted with blood. I flung myself up from the ground and ran to him, stumbling and falling twice before I reached him. Unsure of where to put my hands, I let them hover above his unresponsive form for a few precious seconds, then finally let them rest on his chest.

His breathing was heavily labored; I didn't know what to do. I could feel his wounds pulsing, and the blood came quickly beneath my hands. He was dying, and there wasn't anything I could do about it.

Before my eyes, Jacob suddenly phased back into his human form. There were deep gashes all across his body. He was naked, and yet his nudity held no sexual meaning for me. It was over; I'd failed him. I'd failed when I'd promised not to leave his house. I was a failure, and now Jacob was going to pay for my mistake. Finally, the panic took over me, and I began to shake Jacob, not caring if his neck was broken, not caring about all the stupid rules I'd learned about first aid over the years. I was shaking him, trying to wake him up.

"Jake! Jake, please! Please, Jake, wake up! Wake up!" I was hysterical now. Why wasn't he healing? He was suppose to heal! "Jake, dammit, wake up! Wake up!"

He did not awaken.

**_Author's Notes:_**

**_This one was a little dark. I want to know what you think of it. Please, for my sanity, review._**


	10. Chapter 5: Jacob

_CHAPTER FIVE – FAILURE – JACOB_

I jumped to my feet, ready to kill whatever it was that had threatened Bella. When I turned to look at the sad being that had crossed my path, I saw that it was just Paul. _Paul! Trust him to make an entrance at the opportune moment, dammit._

"I'll be right back," I muttered to Bella, who had visibly relaxed. I marched off into the forest without looking at Paul; I knew he'd follow. When I'd gotten deep enough into the woods, I stopped and whirled around. Paul had phased back, and stood before me in all his glory. I was used to it, though, so I didn't really care.

"What the hell, Paul!" I shouted. He just smirked at me.

"What? I was just coming to tell you that there was no trace of Victoria anywhere," Paul responded obnoxiously.

"Do I look like the Alpha to you? You know you don't report to me! You've _never_ reported to me! You're just being an ass and you know it!" I was fuming. Paul could be such a jerk sometimes.

"Chill out, would ya? I was just messing with you, jeez. Man, you're really serious about her, aren't you? I thought maybe you just loved her so much you just _thought_ you imprinted, but. . .now I'm not so sure. I think you really did," said Paul.

"Yeah, well you'd better believe I did!" I hollered. He was really getting on my nerves now.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry! But anyway, Billy actually did send me here to tell you to get home. The funeral is soon. And Sam thinks you're taking advantage of Bella," he added quickly.

"What! And why in hell would he think that?" I said as my limbs began to tremor slightly.

"Uhh. . .well. . .Billy kinda let it slip that she slept in your bed. . .with you in it. . .last night."

My entire body was shaking now. I knew I had to regain control, but at the moment, all I wanted to do was rip out Sam's throat. How could he ever think I'd force Bella to do something she didn't want to do? I could never live with myself.

"Hey man, chill. Sam just knows that you imprinted just yesterday, and he doesn't want you to freak Bella out," said Paul, interrupting my thoughts. I concentrated for a moment, allowing my body to calm down.

"Well, just make sure one of the guys stays with Bella through the funeral. I don't care who, the bloodsucker's nowhere near. Just send someone who doesn't mind missing it," I instructed, not caring that since I wasn't the Alpha, I had no right to make demands.

"Aw, don't worry, I got it covered. I don't think I can make it through the funeral without embarrassing myself." I nodded curtly, still upset about Sam. I turned without saying another word and promptly marched back out to Bella.

I was working myself up again, I knew it. I was concentrating so hard on keeping my body still that I didn't really look at Bella when I reached her. I just held out my hand, expecting her to take it, and began walking home when she did.

It wasn't until we'd reached my front yard that I realized I hadn't said a word to Bella the whole way home. I stopped, dead center in the yard, and spun Bella around to face me. I looked at her with longing, hoping I could read her mind.

"What are you thinking?" I whispered as I weaved my fingers through her hair. I'd have given almost anything to read her mind at that moment.

"I. . .I'm afraid that you're angry with me," she replied sadly. Is that what she thought? That I was _angry_ with her?

"Why would I ever be angry with you, Bella? Don't you understand? You're my whole life now. I can't afford to lose you. Not this time, not when we've come so far. It. . .would kill me," I said truthfully. Tears appeared in Bella's eyes, and my heart throbbed.

"I love you, Jacob," she said, leaning in to let her lips brush my own. Before I could stop myself, I kissed a line down her jaw and onto her silky neck. _What am I doing?_ I kissed her neck passionately, listening to her heart pound harder.

Of course, her heart wasn't the only one out of control. My own felt like it would explode. I worked my way up Bella's neck and kissed her just behind the ear. Her hips rocked suddenly forward into my body. It was then that I knew I had to stop. My front yard was no better than the beach.

I wrapped my arms around Bella's midsection and hugged it close to mine as kissed back up to her mouth. I kissed her softly twice, then pulled my mouth away, letting my forehead rest on hers. I hugged her closer and we both remained silent.

She really had no idea how wonderful she smelled. I sighed and breathed deeply, attempting to capture all of her essence in one breath. Her delicious flowery smell entered my lungs, along with with something else, something. . .new. It was—

I stiffened and drew back quickly. That scent. . .was it Victoria's? If she came within fifteen miles of Bella, I would rip her from limb to limb. There would be no stopping me. Was she here? No. . .perhaps just remnants from the past few weeks.

"Jake? Jake, what's wrong?" I snapped out of my trance and looked back at Bella, and was surprised to see her sitting on the ground with a look of shock and fear on her face. _Did I do that? _Quickly, I bent down and picked her up off the ground.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I. . .thought I smelled something for a second there," I said in a low voice, pulling her into my arms. "Listen, you stay in my room until I get back, okay? Keep the door locked, and don't answer unless you know for sure it's one of us. And for God's sake, Bella, _don't leave_."

The last thing I needed was for her to leave, to go somewhere and send me into another panic attack. I took Bella's hand and pulled her into the house. Billy was sitting in his wheelchair, looking impatient. I nodded to him and continued to pull Bella along until we were in my room. I shut the door behind me.

Quickly, I grabbed a black dress shirt from my closet, then pulled Bella down next to me on the bed. I needed to talk to her, to tell her that I was sorry for those little episodes of lost control. The last thing I wanted was for her to think I only viewed her as an object, a piece of _meat_.

"Bella, I'm sorry if I'm moving too fast for you, okay? I know how hard it was when. . .Edward left. And I haven't even officially asked you out yet! I just assumed, and I feel like such an ass for that. Can you forgive me?" I was practically begging, but I didn't care. I just wanted her to say yes.

"Jake, you don't have to apologize for anything! You are my boyfriend. There doesn't need to be some special ceremony or anything. And yeah, it was hard when he left. . .but I'm starting to get over it, _finally_, and it's all because of you. You made me realize that _you_ were the one I was suppose to be with, not Edward, not Mike, not _anyone_ else but you," she said, flushing crimson. I smiled at her blush. I was hers. My heart leapt with joy.

"You're so cute when you blush," I said as I pinched her soft cheek. She glared at me, but I just laughed. She was cute when she pretended to be angry, too. "I really should be going. But don't worry, you won't be alone. One of the guys will keep an eye on the house."

"But what about the funeral? I don't want anyone to miss it!" _Oh, Bella. Always the martyr._

"Don't worry! Just promise me you'll stay here!" She had better promise, or I'd tie her to a chair.

"Sure, sure," she agreed, and I laughed. I guess she'd picked up a thing or two from being around me so much. I walked out the door, taking time to lock it before I shut it behind me. I listened for a moment, almost daring her to get up, but when I heard her breathing change, I knew she'd fallen asleep. I walked out into the living room, collected my dad, and headed for the funeral.

It was at the reception that I heard it, like a soft breeze across the back of my neck. Howling. I snapped to attention and looked around. The rest of the pack mirrored me. They had heard it, too. I walked briskly over to Sam.

"Paul," we both said simultaneously.

"I'll go first. I don't want to alarm Charlie," I said quickly, before Sam could offer to go. He nodded.

"We'll be behind you, don't worry," he assured me. I jerked my head in acknowledgment, then turned and walked out of the room. As soon as I cleared the doorway, I took off on a full sprint, shedding my clothes as I went. I was about a hundred yards away from the reception area when I phased. No one would care to look, so I knew I was safe from exposure, but really, by that time I could care less. All I cared about now was Bella.

I was running as fast as I could towards the house, but it still seemed to take forever. All sorts of panicked scenarios were playing through my head. When I reached the house, Bella's truck was gone. My stomach reeled. Where had she gone? _Something_ must have scared her out of my house. And that could only mean one thing. _Victoria. _The bloodsucker's scent saturated the area, making my stomach churn with disgust.

I sniffed frantically, searching for the direction Bella's truck had gone. I found her scent finally, nestled gently under the reek of the vampire's, and instantly, the world crashed down around me. Surely she wasn't stupid enough to drive to Forks? No, why would she do that? Didn't she realize that would be Victoria's plan? I raced toward Forks with all I had in me.

About three miles from Bella's house, I skidded to a halt. There was something in the forest, a large creature, stirring from the leaves that littered the ground. _Paul._

_'Paul! Paul, are you okay?'_

_'Ugh, yeah, I think so. She just knocked the wind outta me. But don't worry about me, go! I'll be there in a couple minutes, let me catch my breath.'_

I could see him struggling to breathe, but I knew he'd be okay. I took off, following the bloodsucker's scent. As I got closer, I could see them, standing in the forest. I was still a half a mile away. Bella's face was unemotional, unmoving. The vampire was leaning toward Bella's neck. _No! Please, no!_

"I can see why that Edward had such a fascination with you. Don't worry. It won't be long. You won't feel much. . .if you're lucky," I heard her whisper into Bella's ear. She turned—_oh, thank God she didn't bite her!—_and walked a few feet away. Neither of them had noticed me yet.

I watched as the bloodsucker turned to Bella and take a threatening step toward her. _Ah—yes!_ I had finally reached them. I was lucky to have the element of surprise. I slammed into the vampire, sending us both crashing to the ground. She shrieked, attempting to catch me off guard, but I held my ground.

I gave it everything I had. I clawed at her face, snapped at her skin with my razor-sharp teeth, and fought against every blow she delivered. I was aware of Bella shouting something, but I was so in the zone that I couldn't tell what she was saying. I could hear the rest of the pack; they were close.

_'Jake, hold on, we're coming!'_

_'We're almost there! Don't stop fighting!'_

Distracted momentarily by the pack's thoughts, I let my guard slip fractionally. But that was all Victoria needed. She dug her fingers, claw-like, deep beneath my fur, deep into my flesh. I could feel her fingers as they tore relentlessly into my lungs and across the surface of my heart.

A terrible noise sliced through the air, and I realized that it was _me_. The vampire let go of me; I lay, unmoving, on my back on the floor of the forest.

_'Don't worry, Jake, we've got her. She won't get away this time.'_

Ah, so _that _was why the bloodsucker had let go of me. The pack had arrived. No single vampire was a match for a pack of werewolves. As I struggled to breathe, I wondered vaguely why it was taking so long to heal. My eyes were closed, and wouldn't seem to open.

I felt a light pressure on my chest. I knew it was Bella without having to look. I was bleeding freely, heavily, under her delicate hands. With every ounce of my remaining energy, I forced myself to phase back into a human. I knew I was naked; I also knew she wouldn't care. If she had to get help, it was best I be in human form.

I could tell Bella was shaking me, screaming at me, but it felt as though it were very far away. I could not force my eyes open, and it was all I could do to just keep gasping for air. _Ah, sweet Bella. I'm sorry I failed you. _I wished desperately that I could tell her how much I loved her.

Images of the pack's pursuit of Victoria flashed through my mind. I didn't _want _to die, but I didn't know how much longer I could hold on. _So this is what it feels like. . ._ And then one final image burned before my closed eyes. They had her. They had caught up to her. Bella was safe at last.

With that final thought, I let myself go. I drifted into oblivion and I knew no more.


	11. Chapter 6: Bella

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Guys, please just bear with me through the first half of the chapter. You might get upset and not want to read anymore, but trust me, you'll want to finish this entire chapter.**_

_**CHAPTER WARNING: This chapter may contain material not suitable for persons under the age of 16. You have been warned.**_

_CHAPTER SIX – HEART AND SOUL – BELLA_

I collapsed onto Jacob's bleeding chest and sobbed. This couldn't be happening. I had finally healed from Edward, and now he was going to die. My freshly healed wound was going to be irreparably torn open once more. And this time, I wouldn't survive.

As I listened to Jake struggle to breathe, I made up my mind to at least try. I owed him that much. It was my fault he was like this is the first place, and the least I could do was to do _something_. I ran through the possibilities in my head.

I could leave him here for a bit while I went to call 9-1-1. . .but then I would have to explain how he'd ended up like that. He was naked without any evidence of clothing anywhere; Charlie would have a stroke, jumping to conclusions like he always did. That was out of the question. So going to directly to Charlie was out as well.

My mind whirled and raced to figure out how to save Jake. I could only see one option now. I had to carry him to my truck. But—he was so heavy and tall and awkward. I couldn't drag him, not in the damaged state he was in. But I couldn't afford to drop him either. I weighed my options quickly, and settled on attempting to carry him.

I reached down and gently put my hands under Jacob. I was acutely aware of his nudity, of his manhood, but there were no hormonal surges this time. All I cared about was making sure he even survived. I heaved with all my might, and Jacob's body came up with my arms. However, he was so tall that I wasn't able to completely cradle him, so I settled for allowing his feet to drag, rather than his sliced-open torso. I turned toward my truck and stopped short when I realized I'd come further into the forest than I'd initially been aware of. My truck was almost three-quarters of a football field away.

_Dammit_, I thought as I glanced back to Jake. His wounds were still seeping profusely and I was now drenched in his blood. My stomach plummeted and my throat constricted. I was on the verge of breaking down, but I knew I'd wasted enough time wallowing in self-pity. I had to get Jake out of there.

So began the seventy-five-yard trek to my truck. It doesn't seem like that much, and really, it wasn't, but I'd never been carrying someone a foot-and-a-half taller than me and at least a hundred pounds heavier. It took me twenty minutes to get him to the truck, and by that time, my panic was threatening to take over. I decided it was far easier to just put Jake in the truck bed rather than attempt to lug him up into the cab.

After he was securely in the truck, I grabbed a spare blanket from the emergency kit Charlie'd stashed behind the seats and covered Jake up. I could only pray that he'd survive the trip to La Push. I scrambled into the driver's seat so quickly that I almost slipped and fell.

_Get a grip, Bella, try not to be clumsy for the next fifteen minutes or Jake's gonna die. _This thought sobered me, and I maneuvered the truck out of the shelter of the trees, trying not to jostle Jake too much in the process. As soon as I got onto the road, I did a quick u-turn and sped off toward Jacob's house.

Thirteen minutes later—I'd probably looked at the clock more than the road—I parked in front the house and frantically climbed out, rushing around to the back and unlatching the door to the bed of the truck. I looked at Jacob, still covered with the blanket exactly where I'd left him, and panicked for a moment, thinking I was already too late.

My breath whooshed out of me when I saw his chest still moving shallowly. The blanket resembled my clothing, as it was soaked in blood as well. I grabbed Jacob by the arm and pulled his upper half against me. I struggled up the walk and kicked at the door, praying that Billy was home and awake.

The front door swung open to reveal Billy in his wheelchair with a bewildered look on his face. His mouth dropped open as he took in my panic-stricken look and bloody clothing.

"Bella, what—" His words stopped immediately when he lowered his gaze to his almost-dead son in my arms. He flung the screen open and I rushed inside.

"Where—" I started, but Billy cut me off.

"On the couch for now, until we can stabilize him." _If we can stabilize him_, I added silently. Billy was surprisingly calm and collected, where I, of course, was a complete mess. I gently deposited Jake onto the couch. His wounds, which should have healed by now, were still bleeding as badly as they had been back in the forest. He was going to bleed to death, and it was all my fault.

"Bella." Billy's voice interrupted my thoughts. "This is _not_ your fault. Bella? Don't even go there. Jake wouldn't ever blame you, don't you do it."

He was right, of course, but with Jacob on the brink of death, I could do nothing _but_ blame myself. But I shook myself and tried to focus on helping Jacob.

"What can I do?" I asked. Billy was leaned over Jake as far as his chair would allow. He looked up at me.

"Towels. In the bathroom." I ran to the bathroom and grabbed every towel that was in there. I sprinted back out to Billy. "Okay, now I need you press those down onto the cuts. We have to stop the bleeding before we can do anything else. I need to go try to get a hold of the guys."

Billy wheeled himself to the kitchen as I pressed the towels over Jake's body. My hands came into contact with his skin and I gasped. His skin was ice cold. He was almost if not just as cold as Edward. I began to shake as I desperately pressed down on the towels. They were already soaked through.

Suddenly, the door burst open. The rest of the pack, in human form, rushed in and crowded around us. Sam put his hand on my shoulder and I looked up at him. Tears were streaming down my face as he nodded his head in indication for me to move. I stood back and watched as everyone worked on Jake's lifeless body.

For the next ten minutes, they worked on trying to get the blood stopped. Then something changed. Every single one of them abruptly stopped what they were doing, frozen as if they were listening. After a moment, they exchanged glances that told me all I needed to know. My body went numb and the world around me seemed distant and foggy. I flung myself across the room toward Jake, but rough hands held me back. I looked up through blurry eyes to see Paul with a pained expression on his face.

"No! Why'd you stop working? No! Let me go!" I shrieked hysterically. I tried to shove past him, but it was all in vain.

"Bella, don't. His heart stopped. Please, Bella, don't," Paul said. I pounded furiously on his chest with all the force I could muster. I was blubbering incoherently, but when Paul's hands closed around my wrists, I just broke down. I started to fall, but his hands held me fast, so I collapsed instead into his chest and sobbed. He wrapped his arms around me, and I was surprised to hear him start to cry as well.

And then the entire pack was around us, embracing us. I could hear Sam murmuring to a stricken Billy and I was struck with how selfish I was being. Billy had just lost his only son, and here I was acting like I was the only one who cared about Jacob. I pushed myself away from the confines of Paul's arms and walked over to Billy.

"Billy I. . .I'm so sorry," I began, but he put a hand up.

"Bella, if I ever hear you apologize for this again, I. . .well, I don't know what I'll do. Just don't do this to yourself. You have to be strong. It's. . .it's what he would have wanted." A single tear escaped from the corner of his eye and I turned away to leave him in his private moment.

The next twenty minutes passed in a haze of tears and silence as we all just stood around, unsure of what to do. I couldn't bear it anymore to see Jacob lying there unmoving, so I excused myself to his room. I sat on the bed, remembering vividly the past twenty-four hours. We had lain here together, ready to do anything it took to stay together forever. And now he was gone. My moon had left long ago, but now my sun was gone as well. I was drowning in darkness and I wasn't sure if I'd ever resurface.

I spotted a pair of Jacob's shorts on the floor and decided that the least I could do was make sure Jacob didn't have to lay there naked. I knew that if it were _me_, I'd have appreciated the courtesy. I grabbed the pants and headed back toward the living room.

When I reached the room, I found everyone frozen with their mouths hanging open, staring intently at Jacob, who I couldn't see because the couch was facing the other direction. _What's going on?_ I wondered vaguely. I didn't think I could take anything else going wrong. But I couldn't figure out what could be worse than Jacob's death.

With my brow furrowed, I came around to the other side of the couch and looked down at Jake. He looked exactly the same, but something was different. I realized what it was and I gasped loudly, dropping Jake's pants and covering my mouth with my hands.

His cuts were partially healed. They were already half the size they'd been when I'd left the room not five minutes ago. I looked quickly at the rest of the pack. Their shocked expression was unchanged.

"But—but his heart! Is it—?" I whispered, but Sam shook his head. If his heart wasn't beating, then how was he healing? Hope surged through my heart as I watched, dumbfounded, as Jacob's skin knitted itself back together. It was a fascinating thing to watch, but none of it would matter at all if his heart didn't beat.

Every person in the room jumped when Jacob suddenly gasped. His back arched off the couch and his chest expanded as he took in a huge gulp of air. I didn't look at the others this time. I wanted to see for myself if his heart was beating. I laid my hand gently in the center of his newly healed chest. His skin blazed under mine, and the steady pounding of his heart caused a fresh bought of tears to take over my flushed cheeks.

Jacob continued to breathe deeply for a few minutes, and then it steadied out to normal lungfuls of air. I stayed crouched by his side with my hand over his heart. I was afraid that if I moved my hand, his heart would stop again. As I stared intently at his still face, his eyes cracked open.

"Jake!" I breathed. My tears turned into sobs as I buried my face into his chest.

"I promised I'd never leave you," Jacob rasped softly. I felt his hand touch the top of my head and I looked at him, my breathing shaky and semi-hysterical. His hand moved to the back of my neck and he applied a bit of pressure, urging me forward to meet his lips. I closed my eyes and accepted the kiss, desperately deepening it. My sun had come back and dried up the darkness.

When we broke the kiss, I turned to see what the others were doing, but all I found was Billy sitting there, pointedly looking in a different direction. I could see tears shining on his face. He glanced at us and began wheeling himself toward the hall.

"I'm, uh. . . I'm going to bed. Bella, you're welcome to stay tonight. I'll call Charlie. Jake. . . I'm glad you're back," he said. I could tell he was trying not to show Jacob he'd been crying. "Oh, and Jake? You might want to put some pants on, son."

Standing, I walked over to the edge of the couch and picked up the shorts where I'd dropped them earlier. I slid them over Jacob's feet.

"Bella, you don't have to—" Jacob protested, but I shushed him.

"I want to, Jake. Please, okay? Just. . . give me a minute to deal with this. You were _dead_, Jake. I. . . I didn't know what to do," I said. I abandoned his shorts as I continued. I knew I was blubbering again, but I didn't care. "I was so scared. You left me. I. . . I don't think I would have been far behind you."

Sitting up so fast that he winced, Jacob grabbed my face and turned it fully to his. "Don't you _ever_. . . Don't you _dare_. . ." He was breathing hard again and I was worried, since he'd just healed a few minutes ago. "If you _ever_ think that again. . . Bella, you're _everything_ to me. You're my entire reason for existence, my soul is forever entwined with yours. I—I love you more than my own life, and I promise you that there will not be a moment in your life where you are alive and I am not. Never again." And then we were kissing again, passionately, frantically, as if we would die if we didn't taste each other. I felt Jacob's tongue slide into my mouth and my heart sped. I'd _never_ been kissed like this, for it had never been allowed. I returned the favor, exploring his mouth with my own tongue. Our breathing came fast, and for a moment I thought about pulling away to see if Jacob was okay, but he only pulled me down with him as he laid back on the couch. I tried to drop to my knees and kneel beside him so I wouldn't hurt him, but Jacob pulled me up on top of him so that my body was against his.

As we lay there in our passionate embrace, I became aware of his arousal. I realized suddenly that I'd never finished pulling his pants up. My cheeks flushed brilliantly as Jacob broke the kiss and looked at me apologetically.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his brown eyes searching mine. Another realization struck me. I didn't _care_ that he wanted sex. Because I knew he wouldn't do anything about it unless I was ready. And. . . maybe I _was_ ready. Maybe Jacob's dying and coming back made me understand that every moment I had with him was precious. My plan had always been that I didn't want to rush into things; we were just kids, after all, but. . . maybe those plans had changed. After almost losing Jake, I had this burning urge to get as close as I possibly could to him.

I smiled at Jake, who was clearly uncomfortably embarrassed about his erection. I stood up, intending to go to the kitchen to get a bowl of warm soapy water and a sponge, but Jake grabbed my arm.

"Where are you going?" he whispered, hurt in his eyes. He thought he'd scared me away, but I knew differently. He started to reach down and pull up his pants, but I stopped him.

"Don't move. I mean it, not an inch. I'll be right back," I whispered, pulling away from him and walking to the kitchen, stumbling slightly.

Five minutes later I returned with the bowl. When I saw Jacob on the couch, still naked and aroused, I nearly dropped the bowl. I'd never seen a naked man in this way before. My eyes traveled to the area between his legs and I blushed again. Earlier, his nudity had meant nothing to me, yet now, as I looked at him, heat blazed through my veins and I realized that he wasn't the only one turned on.

Jacob was visibly nervous when I knelt by him. I placed the bowl on the floor and dipped the sponge into the water. I brought it up to Jacob's torso and began to wash away the dried blood that covered most of his body. As I cleaned him, getting further down his body, Jacob's breathing hitched. I glanced at him, asking permission with my eyes. He gulped and nodded, closing his eyes and clenching his jaw.

I continued down his body, cleaning each leg. I didn't touch him _there_. I had no experience whatsoever with anything of this magnitude and I didn't want to make a fool of myself. When I'd finished, I dropped the sponge back in the water and looked back to Jake. His eyes had opened and he was watching me with wonder and confusion and. . . something else. I recognized it as lust, and wondered briefly if my own eyes reflected his.

Jacob sat up and swung his legs around so that his feet rested on the floor. He took my hand and pulled me up to sit next to him. Kissing me slightly, he reached over and took the bottom hem of my shirt between his fingers.

"Is it okay if. . . can I—?" he asked quietly. Taking a deep breath, I nodded. Jacob pulled my shirt up and over my head. He deposited it on the floor and sat back to take me in. I looked down to see that my bra was soaked in blood, too. I looked back to Jake, who was taking gulps of air. Not taking my eyes from his, I reached behind me and unsnapped my bra, letting the straps slide down my shoulders. I shrugged and the bra fell to my lap, leaving my breasts bare to Jacob's eyes. I could feel my brush creep down to my neck.

Tentatively, he reached out a hand and cupped one in it. His warm palm caused a shiver to go down my back. Jacob, his hand still on my chest, reached his other hand around me and crushed me into him, meeting my lips with fiery passion. He pulled me up with him to a standing position.

"Jake, you shouldn't be up, you just. . ." The words died in my throat as Jacob placed a finger on my lips. He quickly replaced his fingers with his mouth again, and we stood there for a moment, two teenagers groping at each other in the darkening room. I stepped back, and immediately regretted it. I'd knocked into the bowl of soapy water, sending it splashing onto the carpet. Embarrassed, I leaned down to pick it up, but Jake stopped me, chuckling.

"Leave it," he commanded, and I felt compelled to oblige. I threaded my fingers into his hair, pressing my bare skin against his and looked into his eyes. He looked down at me with an animal look in his eyes and smashed his mouth to mine, then kissed down to my neck. My heart pounded as fresh heat took over my body. It took all of my control not to make any noise. I didn't want to risk Billy hearing. I'd be absolutely mortified if he caught us in this particular act.

As if he read my mind, Jacob leaned over and knocked my knees out from under me, swooping me up into his arms, and started walking toward his bedroom. Before I could protest, he kissed me again, wiping all traces of coherent words from my mind.

We reached his room and he gently deposited me on his bed. Standing there in all his glory, I genuinely admired how beautiful he truly was. And his. . .well. It was beautiful as well. I didn't have any to compare it to, but I was sure it was the most beautiful in the world. I watched him as he walked over to his dresser and yanked open a drawer. He pulled out a box wrapped in cellophane and struggled for a moment with it. I realized that they were condoms, and I was strangely pleased to see that they had been unopened and that he'd even thought of them.

Jacob got the plastic off and opened the box with shaky hands, pulling out a small foil packet. He looked back to me. "I—I really hope you don't think I was thinking we'd—What I mean to say is—Billy bought me these back when you started coming to hang out and he saw how much I—I _swear_ I never thought we'd be doing—I just threw them in here, I was so embarrassed—"

"Jake, it's okay, I understand," I whispered. He looked relieved. I knew he'd never just assume we'd have sex, and really, it was pretty smart thinking on Billy's part. Of course, _I'd_ never thought we'd be doing this either, but. . .well, there you go.

Jacob tore open the foil and sheathed himself clumsily. I was glad he could figure it out, because I had no idea how to work those things. As soon as the rubber was secured, he crawled over to me and unzipped my pants, pulling them down inch by inch. His eyes never left mine.

As he began to pull down my undies, I panicked a little. Not because I didn't _want_ to do this with him, but because I'd never done it before. I was afraid of the pain, afraid he'd be too rough.

"Jake?" I asked. He stopped immediately, pulling his hands away.

"Do you want to stop?" he said. I shook my head.

"No. It's just. . . I've never done this before. I. . . I don't want you to hurt me." Pain flickered behind the lust in his eyes.

"I would never intentionally hurt you, Bells. I've never done this either. We don't have to do this. I can stop and we can just lay here together, if that's what you want."

"Is that what _you_ want?" I challenged. His jaw clenched and his eyebrows came together.

"What I want isn't important." _Oh, really?_

"Jake, I want to. I really do." His eyes sparked with a new life and he yanked my underwear the rest of the way down. I kicked them off and wrapped my arms around Jake. Breathing hard, he leaned above me, positioning himself against me. I bit down on my cheek and waited.

Slowly, and ever so carefully, he pushed into me. I could feel the pressure build as he got further in, and all at once, he broke past it, causing a gasp of pain to come out of me. He stopped again, worry etched on his beautiful face. Taking a few moments to let the burn ebb, I nodded to Jake, who continued to push into me until he was all the way in. All the air whooshed from his lungs and I realized he'd been holding it. Gently, he began to move his hips rhythmically into me.

I grabbed the back of Jacob's neck and pulled him down to kiss him. It still burned a little, but that feeling was gradually giving way to. . . something else. I ran my hands across Jacob's back, urging him to move a little faster. He pulled out of the kiss and looked at me.

"If I hurt you, you have to tell me," he murmured. I nodded and he picked up speed a little. A feeling began in the pit of my stomach, and it grew stronger with every movement Jacob made, working its way down to where he and I were connected. I'd never felt anything like it before in my life, but I'd heard of it, though those meaningless words did not give the feeling justice by any means.

The feeling continued to increase in intensity as Jacob continued to move faster on top of me. I heard a small moan and realized it had come from me. Jacob's breathing was quick and shallow, his eyes shut in concentration. As the feeling almost overwhelmed me, I crammed Jacob's lips to mine again. Suddenly, I felt my lower insides convulse and contract rapidly about Jacob's arousal. He uttered a groan into my mouth and thrust into me harder, causing my insides to positively writhe in pleasure, quicker than before.

The feeling started to come down and Jacob gave a final jerk before he was still, trying hard to keep his moan low as he released himself. He collapsed on top of me and we both lay there for a moment, trying to catch our breath. Of course, I had to ruin the mood.

"Jake. . . can't. . .breathe," I grunted from beneath him. Immediately, he rolled to the side, pulling himself out of me as he did so. I heard a huge crash and I realized that Jacob had rolled right off the bed. Well, at least I hadn't been the only one to ruin the mood.

I peeked over the edge to find a stunned Jacob laying flat on his back, looking up at me in embarrassed bewilderment. I giggled.

"Are you alright?" I asked, reaching a hand out to him. He took it and hoisted himself up.

"Yeah, only thing hurt's my pride. Didn't work out like it does in the movies," he said. "I'll be right back, gonna get some fresh clothes." With that, he opened his door and disappeared. I leaned over the edge of the bed and grabbed the rumpled comforter off the floor and covered myself up, staring up at Jacob's dark ceiling.

_That was. . .worth it, I think_, I thought to myself. I knew that perhaps I might regret it one day, but in that moment, I was glad I'd done it. I also knew that we were just kids, but part of me felt that it just made it better. I knew my father would shoot Jake on the spot if he ever found out, but I'd never tell him, and I was certain Jake would never do that to me. I knew that this wouldn't be something that occurred often between the two of us, and I was sure that Jake wouldn't mind. I loved him, even though I'd loved Edward not so long ago. But this was different. There was fire behind this. There was unrestrained passion, things I could do that I hadn't been allowed to do with Edward. I never wanted to go back to that. Never wanted to go back to Edward's cold arms, feel his marble lips against mine. Jacob was everything that Edward was not, but most importantly, he was _alive_.

Jake came back into the room then. He had pulled on a pair of shorts and was carrying a bundle of clothing in his hands. He tossed them to me and turned away. Despite what we had just done, he still respected my privacy, and my heart swelled with pride. _Jacob is mine, all mine,_ I thought to myself as I pulled on the clothes he'd given me. They fit surprisingly well, though the shorts were slightly too large. I touched Jacob on the shoulder and he turned to me instantly, pulling me into his embrace.

"Where'd you get the clothes?" I asked, gesturing to my outfit. He smiled that smile that I loved so much.

"They were mine, from a few years ago. Dad keeps everything, I swear." We laughed at that, and Jacob pulled me down to lie next to him on the bed. I rested my head on his chest and we stayed silent like that for a few minutes. I was beginning to think Jacob had fallen asleep when he spoke into the darkness.

"You awake?" he whispered. I ran my hand over his chest in response. "Do you mind if I ask you something?"

"Go ahead," I said, my curiosity peaked.

"Why me? I mean. . . why'd you pick me? Don't you still love that—Edward?" I thought about it for a moment. It was a good question, one I'd asked myself at least a million times since I'd first kissed Jacob. I spoke slowly, wanting to make sure I got it right.

"Because you are the sun, Jake, and Edward. . .he's the moon. The moon is so beautiful, so lovely, so hauntingly elegant. And the sun. . .Well, the sun is relentless and beats down on me day after day, sometimes making me annoyed and wishing it would stop. Even when clouds cover the sky, the sun doesn't give up. But. . .the moon isn't always there. It waxes and wanes, and there are days it's not there at all. The sun. . . I can always count on the sun to be there every day. And on cold days, when I feel like I'm falling apart, the sun warms me and reminds me that its there, that it will _always_ be there, waiting for me to look up at it and smile. You are _my_ sun, and as beautiful and sought after as the moon is, it will always remain distant and untouchable, whereas the sun's rays are always reaching out to me, embracing me, making me feel forever wanted and happy."

Jacob was silent. Had I said the wrong thing? I reached my hand up to touch his face and was surprised to find it wet. Jacob was crying. I blinked rapidly, trying to keep my own tears at bay, but it was useless. I let the tears slide down my cheeks and I hugged myself to Jacob. He pulled me in closer and we fell asleep like that, our hearts, souls, and bodies as one.


	12. Chapter 6: Jacob

_CHAPTER SIX – HEART AND SOUL – JACOB_

I woke up flat on my back. I kept my eyes closed, but I could tell I was outside somewhere. There was a distant pounding sound, like thunder all around me. I opened my eyes to find myself back in the small clearing where I'd first fought Victoria.

I lifted my head a little and saw Bella standing dead center in the clearing, a look of melancholy on her face. I climbed to my feet and walked over to her. The thunderous pounding continued.

Within a few sew strides, I was standing right in front of Bella. Her eyes were strangely unfocused, as if she were in her own moment and had not even noticed me. Slowly, I extended my hand and placed it gently on her cheek.

As if she were snapping out of a trance, her eyes suddenly flicked onto mine. A feeling of impending dread began to creep up on me as the sound grew louder around us. Bella spoke, and it sounded like she was far away, even though we were mere inches apart.

"Do you hear that?"

I inclined my head and looked around. Looking back to Bella I nodded.

"Do you know what it is?" she asked, still sounding as if she were miles away from me. I shook my head. "It is your heart." She placed a delicate hand upon my chest and began to trace patterns with her slender fingers. I looked down, following her gaze, confused.

"My heart?" I questioned. Even my own voice seemed foreign and distant. Without moving her eyes from my chest, she spoke again.

"You're dying, Jake."

As she uttered these words, my mind reeled. Images came flooding back to me. Me running from the funeral reception. Me sprinting to my house only to find it empty. Me flying through the woods, finding Paul, throwing myself at Victoria before she could kill Bella. The pack arriving just as Victoria delivered a staggering blow to me. My world growing darker until I heard that Bella was safe, before it disappeared altogether. The pounding sound was becoming sluggish.

As the memories swirled around my head, Bella returned her gaze to me. She wore a pained look as she leaned up to kiss me. It felt different, like she was letting go of me.

"I have to go now," she whispered, and it echoed around us, vibrating every molecule within me. Panicked, I reached out and grabbed Bella's arm, attempting to keep her with me, attempting to anchor myself to her in some way.

She looked down at my hand around her arm, then back at me. Her gaze was penetrating, and then she whispered a word that frightened me to the core. "Goodbye."

It happened very suddenly. The thunderous sound abruptly stopped and Bella was violently wrenched from my hand. Then I realized that she hadn't moved at all; I was flying backward, the trees around me a blur, Bella's face still crystal clear. Everything was growing brighter, blindingly so. Bella's face disappeared.

At some point I must have stopped, because I found myself lying on my back once again. Opening my eyes, I found that I was still in a clearing, just not the same one. I was in the clearing that I'd dreamed of before, the one where we'd found the first vampire, the one where Bella had seen me for the first time as a wolf.

I got to my feet again and spun around. I stopped short when I saw that here, too, a figure stood directly in the center of the clearing. But this time, it wasn't Bella. This time it was Edward.

Before I could move, Edward strode forward. Strangely, I had no biting words or comments for him. He'd hurt Bella almost beyond repair, and yet here in death, I could not find the words I'd been so ready to say had he ever shown up back in Forks.

"Jacob," he said. It was the same, distant sounding echo. "It's time." He held out his hand and without hesitation, I took it. He turned and we disappeared.

I didn't know what was happening. I didn't know where we were. We were rushing through a blackness that seemed impenetrable to me. Was he escorting me to hell? I didn't know.

But when we stopped, I found that it was not hell, nor heaven, even. It was my bedroom. And Bella was sitting on the edge of my bed, tears streaming down her face. Edward let go of me. Walking over to Bella, he placed a hand on her cheek. She turned her head. Then she stood, picked up a pair of my shorts from the ground, and left.

"Why are you showing me this?" I asked. Edward turned to me.

"When I said that it was time, what did you think I meant?"

"I thought that it was time to go to either heaven or hell," I replied. This was unlike me. I'd never been in his presence for so long without saying or thinking some sarcastic comment. Edward smiled.

"Things are different here. Your feelings toward me will go back to normal when you go back," he said. I remembered Bella saying something about Edward being able to read minds, and I supposed that dying made no difference. But what was this about going back?

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"She is not ready for you to go. You need to go back. It is time. Not time to die. Time to live. You must make her happy."

It was the last thing I'd ever expected Cullen to say. Was he giving me permission to take her as mine? Hearing my thoughts, he answered.

"She was yours long before me. It was always supposed to be you. As long as she remains happy, then so will I."

This was new. Edward was giving her up. Of course, he'd already chosen his path, back when he left her. But how was I suppose to go back to her? I was dead. My heart had stopped beating. I didn't have that kind of power.

"That is why I am here. Now go. Breathe life into her. Live." With that, Edward put his palm where Bella had put hers before and shoved. I jerked, and all was black.

Moments later—or was it years? I couldn't tell—I found that I was once again on my back. Strangely, the pressure of Edward's hand was still on my chest. I cracked my eyes open to find that it wasn't Edward at all; it was Bella, staring intently at me. Tears streaked her face, exactly as they had in the bedroom.

"Jake!" she whispered before burying her face into my chest, her shoulders heaving with her sobs.

"I promised I'd never leave you," I choked out. For some reason, my throat wasn't working properly at that moment. My body felt a little off, as if I had the flu or something of the sort. The events of the past few minutes—or at least what _felt_ like the past few minutes—were surging through my head at breakneck speeds. Why had the bloodsucker appeared to me? Why had he just _given _her to me, as if he _owned _her to begin with? There were so many things about my encounter that I wanted to be angry at, but with Bella's sobs ripping through her body as her head lay on my chest, I just couldn't bring myself to be angry over _anything_. There would be time for that later.

I gently placed my hand on the top of her head, reveling in the soft feel of her brown waves. The urge to kiss her overwhelmed me and I moved my hand to the back of her neck and pressed lightly, willing her toward me. Our lips connected and it was like breathing the cleanest air in the world. I _needed_ it desperately, to survive, to fuel me through my life. I clung to Bella through that kiss, and it ended only when I needed to come up for oxygen.

"I'm, uh. . . I'm going to bed," said Billy, making me aware of his presence. "Bella, you're welcome to stay tonight. I'll call Charlie. Jake. . . I'm glad you're back." I squinted at my father. Was that. . . a tear? He started to wheel away, but stopped for a moment to look back at us. "Oh, and Jake? You might want to put some pants on, son." Ahhh. I could feel my face burn in the semi-darkness and I could only hope that Bella wouldn't notice. She didn't. In fact, she simply got up and picked up a pair of my shorts from the end of the couch without ever looking at me. She turned back and began to slip one of my feet into them.

Oh! No, no, no. Bella was _not_ going to dress me. If she got anywhere near my. . . ah. . . _area_. . . I knew exactly how it would respond. "Bella, you don't have to—"

"I want to, Jake. Please, okay? Just. . . give me a minute to deal with this. You were _dead_, Jake. I. . . I didn't know what to do," Bella said, dropping my shorts to the floor where they lay forgotten. "I was so scared. You left me. I. . . I don't think I would have been far behind you."

_What! Is she saying she would have killed herself?_ Anger flashed through me as I sat bolt upright. _Ouch,_ I winced as a sharp pain erupted in my abdomen. "Don't you _ever_. . . Don't you _dare_. . ." I was panting in anger, and my newly healed lungs protested slightly. "If you _ever_ think that again. . . Bella, you're _everything_ to me. You're my entire reason for existence, my soul is forever entwined with yours. I—I love you more than my own life, and I promise you that there will not be a moment in your life where you are alive and I am not. Never again." I smashed my mouth into hers without waiting for a response. We devoured each other hungrily, animalistically, desperately. I slid my tongue into her mouth, testing the boundaries. Bella's breathing increased, and suddenly, her own tongue joined mine in its exploration. Losing all self-control, I laid back on the couch, pulling her with me.

Bella awkwardly attempted to kneel beside me, but I was having none of that. I pulled her directly on top of me and continued or passionate kiss.

_Oh, God._ I was aroused. I was _very_ aroused, and Bella was laying on top of me, of _it_.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, searching her eyes with desperation. I watched several emotions flicker through them, none of which were decipherable to me. My face was maddeningly red as I awaited some sort of a response.

And then she smile. _Oh, thank God. _But then she stood, making me think I had indeed over-stepped her lines. I grabbed her arm, a million excuses at the ready.

"Where are you going?" I whispered in anguish. I reached down to grab my shorts, but Bella interrupted my actions.

"Don't move. I mean it, not an inch. I'll be right back," she commanded in a whisper, pulling out of my grasp. I nodded, but she was already tripping toward the kitchen. So I just lay there, completely nude, totally unmoving.

Five minutes or so passed when Bella finally returned. She stopped at the edge of the couch, her gaze raking across my body and lingering on my manhood, her blush very nearly making me come unhinged. It was then that I noticed the bowl in her hands.

She knelt next to the couch and placed the bowl on the floor next to her. She dipped something into it and it wasn't until I felt a warm wetness on my stomach that I realized she was washing the blood off of me. I was vividly aware of the fact that the sponge was traveling farther and farther down my abdomen. She reached the area just below my belly button and stopped when my breath caught in my throat. Bella looked at me, silently asking permission to continue. I swallowed thickly and nodded, steeling myself for the slightest touch.

Bella continued downward, but never touched my erection. That was fine by me, I didn't want to come unglued if she had. How embarrassing would that be? I watched her work in fascination. She was clearly trying not to stare too much, but it didn't seem to be working. What I would give to know what she was thinking. She finished cleaning me and dropped the sponge back into the water and turned her eyes to me. She was surprised to see me already looking at her. I wanted her so badly by that point that I was surprised I'd had enough control not to ravish her on the spot. But I wanted that moment to be completely her decision. Though from her expression, I could tell that she wanted everything I did.

I sat up and put my feet on the floor. Taking Bella's hand in mine, I pulled her down next to me on the couch and rested my lips lightly on hers. Before I could stop myself, my fingers were closed around the bottom hem of her shirt and my eyes were questioning hers.

"Is it okay if. . . can I—?" Breathing deeply, Bella nodded. I pulled her shirt up over her head and cast it aside, leaning back to look at Bella. It pained me to see just how much I'd bled out onto Bella. Her bra was drenched in it, but she was still beautiful. I was suddenly aware that my breathing was nearly hysterical. I was so incredibly turned on that it took everything I had to control myself. I would never force myself on her.

Bella surprised me once again by reaching behind her and unlatching her bra. She shrugged it off and I nearly passed out as I took in her Michelangelo sculpted breasts. The nipples were. . .happy, and I wanted to do everything from sucking on them to pinching them. _Jake, get a grip!_ I silently chastised myself. The last thing I wanted to do was freak Bella out. Neither one of us had any experience with sex or foreplay, and even though I'd read my fair share of Playboys, I didn't think I would be able to do any of that stuff.

But even though it was a no-go with the foreplay, that didn't mean I was going to let those beauties just hang there without any support from my all-too-willing hands. So I shyly reached out my hand to her bare flesh and cupped one of the masterpieces. I felt Bella shiver and I lost it completely. My other hand found its way to her back and in a moment, her lips were crushed up against mine. Without even thinking, I stood, pulling Bella with me.

"Jake, you shouldn't be up, you just. . ." I placed a finger gently against her soft, full lips to silence her. I leaned down and covered her mouth with mine again. I squeezed and thumbed her breasts as her hands scrambled across my back and my bottom. Bella stepped backwards slightly and I felt, rather than saw, the bowl of warm water overturn and slosh out its contents. Bella broke the kiss and started to lean down to pick it up, but I just laughed.

"Leave it," I stated simply. Bella threw me a smoldering look before she pressed her half-naked body into my fully naked one and ran her fingers through my hair. I looked down at her as I reveled in the feel of her skin and her breasts that were. . ._holy crap!_. . .pressed into my body. I kissed her fiercely again, moving my lips to kiss down her neck.

This was it, I could feel it. We both wanted this, she'd made herself as clear as if she'd stated the words aloud. I swiftly leaned over and swiped my arm into the back of her knees, causing her to lose her balance. I cradled her into my arms and started carrying her to my room. I could tell she was going to say something about me walking around when I'd just been through. . . whatever it was I'd been through, but I quickly silenced her by touching my lips to hers again.

I opened my door and placed Bella lightly on my bed, closing the door behind us. I stood there awkwardly for a moment. Without any direct contact to Bella, I was suddenly nervous and unsure. I walked over to my dresser and jerked the top drawer, pulling out the sealed box of condoms that Billy had given me months and months ago, when he'd first noticed how attracted I was to Bella. _'Better safe than sorry,'_ he'd said. But now my cheeks burned even redder than they had when he'd given them to me. Bella probably thought I'd planned this or something. She probably thought that _I _thought she was _that _kind of girl. Which was ridiculous, of course.

I struggled with the stupid cellophane wrapped that enclosed the box for a few painstaking moments before it I finally got it off. I started to open the box and it wasn't until I nearly dropped it that I realized my hands were shaking badly. I gripped a single foil package between my fingers and pulled it out. I dropped the box back into my drawer, turning to Bella as I did so.

"I—I really hope you don't think I was thinking we'd—What I mean to say is—Billy bought me these back when you started coming to hang out and he saw how much I—I _swear_ I never thought we'd be doing—I just threw them in here, I was so embarrassed—"

"Jake, it's okay, I understand," Bella interrupted. I felt the relief smooth my face over and I ripped open the condom wrapper. I looked down at myself and shakily pushed the condom onto my arousal, unrolling it until it met my pelvis. My eyes met Bella's again and I crawled onto the bed and over to her.

I tugged the zipper down on her jeans and looped my fingers through her belt loops. Slowly, carefully, I began to pull her jeans down. When they were off, I moved to take her panties off as well. I saw the hesitation in her eyes before she'd even spoken.

"Jake?" I instantly removed my hands, ready to go back out into the living room if she asked me to.

"Do you want to stop?" I asked, nervous of the answer. But she only shook her head, causing me to become slightly confused.

"No. It's just. . . I've never done this before. I. . . I don't want you to hurt me." She thought I'd hurt her? I could _never_, no matter how much I wanted to, be so rough with her at this moment in our lives. It was special to both of us. We were both giving something to each other, and I'd be damned if she was left feeling as if it had been _taken_ instead.

"I would never intentionally hurt you, Bells. I've never done this either. We don't have to do this. I can stop and we can just lay here together, if that's what you want."

"Is that what _you_ want?" she demanded, squinting her eyes at me in a challenge.

"What I want isn't important." I told her the truth. Sure, I wanted to sleep with her, what teenage boy didn't want that? But if it came right down to it, I wasn't like other teenage boys. Not physically speaking, but mentally.

"Jake, I want to. I really do." _Well, since you said it so nicely. . ._ I pulled her underpants off before I could stop myself. I felt Bella kick them off onto the floor, and she wrapped her arms around my body. This was it, _the_ moment. I couldn't lie to myself, I was scared beyond a reasonable doubt.

I let the tip of my arousal just touch Bella's opening. As much as I wanted to go hog wild and thrust into her, I couldn't. Where it would feel like heaven to me, it would probably hurt a lot for her. So I slowly and gently pushed myself into Bella. The friction hit me instantly and I knew that I had met her barrier. I knew I had to just push past it, like ripping a band-aid off.

Bella gasped out in pain. _Oh, God! I hurt her!_ It was agonizing to me that I had hurt her. I'd _known_ I was going to hurt her, and I did it anyway! Even after promising not moments ago that I'd never hurt her intentionally! I watched Bella intently for any signs of regret or want to discontinue, but after a few moments, she nodded her consent for me to continue. Air rushed out of my lungs in a gust and I realized that I'd been holding it in. So I slowly and carefully began to rock my hips into her, moving myself in and out of her at a slow but steady pace.

Suddenly, Bella grabbed the back of my neck and dragged my mouth down to greet her own. Her hands found their way to my back and she pushed into me, as if she were asking me speed up a little. I forced myself to break the kiss so that I could look at her, make sure she really wanted me to do that. Her eyes were screaming, _Yes!_

"If I hurt you, you have to tell me," I said in a low voice. She nodded her consent and I pushed into Bella at a quicker tempo. As we moved together, I became acutely aware of the fact that the friction from within Bella was growing ever stronger. I knew that I wouldn't last much longer. A small moan escaped from Bella's mouth, and it was almost my undoing.

The friction got to be almost too much for me to handle when Bella's mouth suddenly crashed into mine, causing me to almost lose it right then and there. And then. . . Bella's muscles were rapidly convulsing around my member. _Oh. . . my. . . God. . . Oh, holy God. I. . . I. . ._ My thoughts became incoherent and I knew that I was right behind Bella. I thrust myself deeply into her, as far in as I could go, and I was finally set over the edge when I saw the look of pure pleasure on Bella's face, accompanied by a quicker succession of squeezes from her muscles.]I moaned into the kiss.

I gave it a final jerk and reveled it the satisfying feeling of my release. I tried my best to keep my groan low, and I flopped down lightly on top of Bella, where we lay together for a moment to catch our breath.

"Jake. . . can't. . .breathe," Bella grunted. _Oh, _I thought, rolling off of her. Unfortunately, I rolled the wrong direction, because I found myself on the floor looking up at Bella, where she was leaned over me, trying not to laugh. But try as she might, a giggle still escaped her.

"Are you alright?" she asked me, holding out her slender hand. I grabbed it and pulled myself up.

"Yeah, only thing hurt is my pride. I'll be right back, gonna get some fresh clothes." I opened the door and strutted down the hall naked. I yanked open the door to the laundry room and grabbed a pair of shorts for myself. Looking down, I realized that I was still wearing the condom. I quickly pulled it off and looked around to see where I could put it. There was a small trash can, but there was also the chance that Billy would look in and see it. So I settled for wrapping the condom in a dryer sheet and tossing it into the can.

As I headed to the hall closet where my older, much smaller clothes were kept, I couldn't help but replay the last fifteen minutes in my head. Bella and I had done it. We had taken our relationship to an entirely new level. I wasn't planning on doing these kinds of things with her _every_ time we hung out alone, but I certainly didn't want it to be the last.

I rooted through the closet until I found a decent pair of shorts and a t-shirt. I entered my bedroom again to find Bella covered up with my old wrinkled comforter. I tossed the clothes to her and turned away. It was probably unnecessary, considering what we'd just done, but I loved her and I wanted her to be comfortable. Plus staring at her would feel wrong when she was doing something as innocent as dressing herself. I felt a tap on my shoulder and I turned back to Bella. She was beautiful in my old clothes, which were slightly large on her tiny frame.

"Where'd you get the clothes?" she said, pointing to her clothes. I smiled.

"They were mine, from a few years ago. Dad keeps everything, I swear." We laughed for a moment, and then I laid down on the bed, pulling Bella down with me. She rested her head on my chest. Her breathing didn't change, but I still didn't know whether Bella was awake or not. My own heart was still pounding hard from earlier.

"You awake?" I whispered into the darkness. She ran her hand across my chest in response. "Do you mind if I ask you something?"

"Go ahead," she answered immediately.

"Why me? I mean. . . why'd you pick me? Don't you still love that—Edward?" It was difficult to say the bloodsucker's name out loud without cringing too badly.

"Because you are the sun, Jake, and Edward. . .he's the moon. The moon is so beautiful, so lovely, so hauntingly elegant. And the sun. . .Well, the sun is relentless and beats down on me day after day, sometimes making me annoyed and wishing it would stop. Even when clouds cover the sky, the sun doesn't give up. But. . .the moon isn't always there. It waxes and wanes, and there are days it's not there at all. The sun. . . I can always count on the sun to be there every day. And on cold days, when I feel like I'm falling apart, the sun warms me and reminds me that its there, that it will _always_ be there, waiting for me to look up at it and smile. You are _my_ sun, and as beautiful and sought after as the moon is, it will always remain distant and untouchable, whereas the sun's rays are always reaching out to me, embracing me, making me feel forever wanted and happy."

My eyebrows shot into my hairline. I had certainly not expected that answer. I was aware that there were hot tears running down my face, but I did not move to wipe them away. _If the guys ever hear of this. . . _Bella's hand touched my cheek, and, upon feeling the wetness of my tears, began to cry herself. She wrapped her arms around me and, desperate to comfort her, I pulled her even closer. We fell asleep in that embrace and I knew that my heart and soul belonged to Bella forever.


	13. UPDATE

*****UPDATE*****

**Fear not, guys, I have not abandoned this story. I currently have a chapter under construction. College is unbelievably stressful and time-consuming, and with the way things ended last chapter, I didn't want to push out a half-assed chapter. I want it to be good, so you guys don't think, "I waited months to read **_**this**_**?" No, no, no, that isn't happening on my watch. So I promise promise promise that there will be a new update SOON, very soon. And I apologize to all who got the message in their inbox of a new posting and quickly clicked here to find that it was only an update.**

**Thank you to all my fans, I love you all!!!**

**~MamaDulce (aka antebellum)**


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